Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Peace That You Can't Understand

It's been a while since I posted here, but I have a good excuse. Life sort of got in the way. First my oldest was ill, then my youngest, then me - Mom always seems to get it last. Then we had a little crisis. It started on Saturday morning when my youngest son Brody crawled into my bed. "Mommy, I'm cold," he complained as he burrowed against my back. Soon, he was crying in pain from his stomach. After about 45 minutes when his fever had climbed over 102, I called my family doctor. They told me to get him to the ER because they were afraid of appendicitis. It turned out to be an impacted bowel. Eight hours later, we headed home, not much better than when we had left. My husband who had spent several hours in the hospital with me, had to leave for a home basketball game (he is a varsity basketball coach). I tried to comfort my son that evening as we waited for the medicine to work and relieve him of his pain.

The next day, we were all tired and worn out, but I decided to strip the beds and wash all the linens anyway to give everyone a fresh bed. I also had a banquet to attend for awards my students were getting. It was really the last thing I wanted to do, but Brody was feeling better and I had a commitment, despite the piles of grading that I hadn't even gotten out of my briefcase. So, I did my hair and slapped on some makeup and went.

The next morning, Monday, dawned far too early. Brody, who had started to not feel so hot the night before, was staying home with my mother-in-law who had offered to watch him while I went to work that morning. As I was ready to walk out the door, the phone rang. My mother in law was sick with a stomach bug of some kind. Thankfully, my mother was able to come over at the last minute and also stayed long enough for me to swing by the store as our cupboards were quite bare. When I got home, the toilet was clogged. Just what you need when you have a child running to it every five minutes. Hubby came home and got that fixed for us. Then I did our laundry.

My husband had a commitment for work that evening so it was just me and the kids. So, I wasn't too happy when I came down with a migraine and a sick stomach. I'm sure it was just stress but it certainly made serving dinner, helping with homework and dealing with a sick child a bit of an ordeal.

This morning I woke up feeling overwhelmed by my to do list. Not only was Wednesday going to be shot with a doctor's appointment for my son, but Thursday I had an appointment for myself for a small procedure in the office. Looming over me were stacks of grading, lesson plans that had yet to be planned, a list of worksheets and quizzes that needed to be created and run off, people I needed to interview for articles and articles that needed writing up, not to mention the state of my house - a wreck!

While I felt much better physically, I was considerably rumpled in my spirit.I could feel myself starting to unravel at the seams with a sense of panic at all that needed doing and my utter exhaustion at even the thought of actually doing it all!

I knew the only place to find peace- at the feet of my Father. I had about 15 minutes before I had to be at school, so I turned on my favorite song by Chris Tomlin I Will Rise. Tears ran down my face because I didn't feel like I would rise, but that I was sinking for the last time under the waves of my to do list. I read my daily reading in My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers and then opened my Bible. Since I wasn't going to have time to read a chapter in Deuteronomy, I turned to one of my favorite books, Psalms. Since it was the 10th, I decided to read Psalms 10. There, buried a the end of the chapter, was the manna I needed for that day.

"The Lord is King forever and ever; Nations have perished from His land. O Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, you will incline Your ear." Those words were what I needed to hear. It was like Jesus stood in the boat and said, "Peace, be still." The waves of turmoil smoothed into placid waters. God is so good; He always has just what we need from Him. I'd like to say that my papers were miraculously graded and my house cleaned itself, but that didn't happen. What did happen was the mountain of things that seemed poised to bury me, shrunk to quite a manageable molehill. I could say, with one of my favorite hymns, it is well with my soul. God's peace does pass all understanding, but it is there when we ask for it. "Ask and it shall be given to you, pressed down and running over." All I can say is Thank you Lord for a peace that is greater than circumstances.

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