Thursday, February 12, 2009

Nothing But Dust

One of my very favorite verses is Psalms 103:14, "For He knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust." Once again, I was feeling stuck. Can you tell this is a recurring theme for me? It seemed everytime I tried to get writing or working on losing weight, something would come up and steal my time or knock me for a loop. I was praying about it the other day. Even though God has confirmed that me about writing, I was feeling really insecure and wondering if maybe it was my own wanting that I was hearing, rather than God. You know, the old hear what you want to hear thing.

I felt kind of sheepish doing it, but I asked God to confirm for me, "just one more time" that I was supposed to write. I even reminded Him of this verse, about my dirtball status. As usual, I asked God to be really obvious because, well, I need obvious.

Today I started a new Bible study by Beth Moore about Esther. What does Esther have to do with my writing or not writing you may ask? I really wasn't looking for God to confirm when I opened up my Bible study. But there, in one of the last paragraphs, it spoke right to me. "What is it that you feel like you just can't move forward? What thing is it that you feel your 'In the time of' story just can't happen for you? God is moving even if you can't see Him or feel Him."

I had to stop reading because tears blurred my vision. How is it that the God of the universe, the God that created the majestic mountians and the mighty oceans, the God who sprinkled the starts into the heavens, is patient and kind and loving enough to reassure an insecure little dustball like me? How is it possible that He would take the time to meet with me, to be intimately involved in my life? I'm not sure why or how, but He is! God is good. God is real in my life and in yours. He really cares about the details and has a plan for you and for me, a plan that was ordained before time began. The thing is, I don't want to miss it. I want to listen when He speaks and obey what He is telling me. I don't know about you, but when He writes the adventure that is my life's plan, I don't want to be missing from the pages. And I don't have to worry about being strong enough or good enough or just enough because in MY weakness HE is strong. After all, He knows that I am just dust.

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