Saturday, October 29, 2011

WHY DO I DOUBT GOD?

It's been interesting around here with all the health issues that have come up recently. The big one for me has been my tooth. Honestly, most of the time, unless I am brushing them, I don't really think about my teeth. They are just there and come in very handy when I need to eat something.

In July, I started to think about them a lot more because a couple them started to make their presence known through pain. I was sort of kerflummoxed though because the pain moved around. Hmmmm. Then the pain would go away and I'd forget about it for a couple days. Finally, it came back with a vengence and didn't leave. So, off to the dentist I went. I thought maybe he'd tell me I had an abscessed tooth or something. But no - there was a huge crack in one of my molars going up into the root of the tooth. (just for your information - percacet will only make you feel high and your tooth will still hurt but it will be slightly funny)

Now, I'm not blaming my oldest son, but the truth is I cracked a couple of my molars when I was in labor with him. It's not his fault, of course, and I'm really not bitter. Really. But I have had the four of them worked on in some fashion or other over the past 13 years.

So, the dentist, after drilling in my mouth for over an hour (did I mention I had clenched every muscle in my body on the off chance it might hurt and was drenched in sweat by the time he was done?). He put in this temporary crown. It's a metal one and I kind of liked it. I felt very edgy with my metal tooth (I have to take coolness wherever I can find it).

However, the temporary crown didn't work. It still hurt. Oh and the dentist's bill lady informed me that she would only do 3 months of payments to pay off the approximately $465. She wasn't very happy when I told her I couldn't pay it off in 3 months. That was just the crown. The root canal I was pretty sure I needed at this point would cost another $900. I called around to oral surgeons and found I could have it pulled for about half that.

So, back to the dentist I went to get my referral - grumbling the whole way I might add about the added trip and the expense and, well, you get the idea.

In addition to my costly dental issues, my dear hubby had had some expensive tests for his heart issues, the largest of which had not yet rolled in. To say I was a bit concerned would be like saying Obama is a little bit liberal.

I was trying really hard not to fret about it but to trust God to provide. I received a very generous amount for catsitting from some friends who are out of the country, so I was very thankful because I saw that as God providing.

He wasn't done yet though. At the appointment at the dentist, the nice man told me he'd just waive the rest of the bill for my crown work since I was going to have the tooth pulled! That would be $400 waived. Add to that my normal monthly income from the newspaper was a couple hundred more because of the happy circumstance of October having five Saturdays and Mondays plus an extra article, and God came through BIG TIME!

This is not the first time God has come through for us financially. It isn't the first time, by any stretch, that He has provided what we needed. Yet, I still doubted. I still wondered how it would all work out. I tried not to - my head knew that He would come through but my heart fretted and freaked out a bit.

Thank goodness that God is patient and loving and kind. I remember reading about the Israelites and wondering how they could doubt God when He so clearly intervened for them so many times. Yeah - feeling a bit of egg on my face now. The truth is, I'm just as bad sometimes. I suppose that is why God always told the Israelites to build alters and memorials to remind them of His provision and intercession on their behalf.

"And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19

My God provides over and above what I need or expect because that's just the way He rolls.
~ Blessings, Bronte

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