Monday, October 17, 2011


I'm a fretter by nature. I think, if you have read my blog for any length of time, you have probably figured that out by now. lol Most of the time, I tend to be sort of laid back and go with the flow, but in certain areas, I can get very uptight. I think part of this is an over-active imagination and the other part is because I tend to overthink things. I mean REALLY overthink things.

I'm doing this Bible study by Beth Moore called The Psalms of Ascent. I'm really enjoying it because for one reason, it's Beth Moore. (I just love her!) The other reason is I love, love, love Psalms. I spent about two years reading through the Psalms and recording all the things they say about God. It completely changed my perspective of who God is and His character. So, I've been enjoying this Bible study.

Of course, it goes without saying that this Bible study had things I needed to hear and learn just when I needed to hear and learn them. God is always so good to me in that way. :)

Recently, I've been facing a lot of indecision and a lot of the unknown. I don't really mind new things or jumping into something different, but I can be a really horrible decision maker, particularly when I let fear get into the mix. Then I become sort of paralyzed with this deer in the headlights look - "Which way should I go?" So I fret and stew and go through all the "what if" scenerios in my head and basically make myself (and those around me) nuts. I've spent a lot of time borrowing trouble. The only problem with that is you always end up paying interest in peace and serenity.

The day I was really struggling with this feeling of "what should I do next," was the day we went over Psalm 131. It's short, so I'll include the whole thing here.

"O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty; nor do I involve myself in great matters, or in things too difficult for me. Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord from thi time forth and forever." Psalms 131

This picture of a toddler resting in its parent's arms is so sweet to me. My youngest is 10 years old, but he will still climb up in my lap and rest his head on my shoulder when he is really tired. I'm so thankful neither of my boys is too old yet to hug me (although not in public of course!).

That picture of complete trust is so sweet to me. The truth is God knows my heart. He knows my desire is to go where He wants me to go. He knows our needs (and even wants and desires) better than I know them myself, plus He knows the future. He promises to direct my paths,and I can trust that whichever path He directs me to, He will also give me the strength and perserverence to walk it.

Like a young child tired from being so busy, I can climb into my Abba's lap and rest in His love, His faithfulness and His mercy. I don't have to figure it all out - He's got it covered.

I'll leave you with the refrain from another Jamie Grace called God Girl that I really love.

I'm a God girl, that's who I be
from the top of my head to the soles of my feet
No I can't deny it, wouldn't even try
I'm your girl, in a crazy world
God girl that's who I be,
from the top of my head to the soles of my feet
I can't deny it, wouldn't even try
I'm yours
Oh I'm a loved girl and I'll always be
from the top of my head to the soles of my feet
I can't deny it, wouldn't even try
I'm Your girl for the whole wide world to see."

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