I'm going to shamelessly drop names in this post - just to forewarn you! I got to interview Thelma Wells this morning for an article. She is the nicest woman and talking to her feels sort of like an emotional hug. People who have that gift are amazing to me.
Anyway, I've been doing the book study Made to Crave which is about food issues. It's been very interesting and a bit painful at times. But over and over in this study and in past studies, I find God bringing my mind back to the issue of anxiety in my life. I don't remember being this anxious when I was younger, but in recent years, anxiety and worry are things I struggle with. Maybe it is because I am a "what if" person, or maybe it is my very active imagination. Whatever the reason, I find I can work myself into a tizzy over literally nothing.
Lately, my anxiety seems to center on the problem of feeling like I am never doing enough or doing it fast enough. No matter what I am doing, I seem to have this low level of anxiety that whispers in my ear that there are many more things on the to-do list and I need to "hurry" or "go faster" or "not take time." This has shown up in my quiet time lately. I am having a good time with God, and then I glance at the clock and realize that it is later than I thought. Suddenly, I feel the urgency to wrap up my prayer time lickity-split so I can get on to the important task of scrubbing the toilet or some other earth stopping thing. These are obviously Satan's lies to keep me feeling overwhelmed while at the same time, keeping me from the true source of peace.
The truth is, as today's Bible study time showed me, that GOD is my portion and He is more than enough. I can stop fretting over time and whether I have enough of it, whether I am using it fast it enough or whatever. I can give my day to God and all the to-do's on it and trust that He has the perfect portion of time for me to accomplish what HE has for me to do.
Back to my converation with Mrs. Wells. I did the interview and she was truly delightful. Then I decided to take a little risk. After all, I had her on the phone, the opportunity was staring me in the face, so I asked her. I told her I was working on a Bible study on the life of Moses and asked what her advice would be. Her advice centered on not stressing out - to set aside a time, focus for that time and then not worry about how fast/slow I was going. What a blessing that advice was - how timely and apt. Then she prayed with me. It is truly a gift and blessing when someone prays over you and for you. Her prayer reminded me that where my hope and strength truly lie - in God, not a better organizational system or a tightly packed to - do list!
I hope this verse that blessed me today will also bless you. "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I will say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will wait for Him." Lamentations 3:22-24