This morning, Brody came up to me with a cd in his hand. "Can we listen to this in the car, Mom?" he asked. I looked down to see a copy of a Veggie Tales cd in my hand. So, we drove to school singing the song "God Is Bigger Than the Boogie Man!" at the top of our lungs. By the time we pulled up to door to drop the kids off, the boys were laughing and I had a big smile on my face. Nothing like Larry and Bob to get you off to a good start to your day!
Then as I drove home, listening to "The Bunny", it hit me, God IS bigger than ALL my boogie men, not just the pretend ones in my kids' closet or under their beds. This was particularly timely for me.
It's interesting and not really coincidence I'm sure, but every time that I start making positive steps forward, Satan starts whispering lies into my ears. Lies that play into one of my deepest fears - that I will be stuck exactly where I am, nothing changed, 20 years from now or even 5 years from now. So, yesterday, I had done an interview and worked on some writing. I had taken charge of my eating again, with only a few small goof ups. (the cookies looked too good to refuse!) I had even rediscovered my joy in art - I had to make a couple paintings for our play at school and was surprised at how much fun it was to slap that paint around! lol So with all these positive steps, I'm not sure why I wasn't expecting Satan to attack me, to try to make me doubt, but it came as a big surprise to me, that as I took my shower last night, the same old doubts and fears came bubbling into my mind: You'll never lose weight; it's impossible and it will never happy. You'll never write that book or any Bible studies; who would want to publish anything YOU write anyway - who do you think you are? You'll never get out of this neighborhood - it will crumble around you and you'll be stuck here, fending off the gangs with your skillet!
The boogie men were out in full force. I saw them lurking everywhere - in the closet, under the bed, down the hall. But just in time, I remembered, I could always turn the light on them. So, I started saying all the things I KNEW were truth. God loves me; God has a plan for me; God is my ever present help in time of need; God is good and full of lovingkindness; I may not have the strength to change, but God does. It was hard to say the words, and at first it felt like I was pushing them out through jello. But it got easier and verses started popping into my mind.
And guess what? When I turned the light on my fears, He chased away the shadows and the doubts. Things that loomed large and scary, shrank back down to normalcy again. God had chased away my boogie men! Amazing how true a children's song can be, isn't it?
It gets better! As I was starting my prayer time this morning, I thought I'd read a Psalm. Seeing as it is the 31st, I read Psalms 31 (not very imaginative, I know).
Psalms 31: 1-8 (NLT)
Oh Lord, I have come to you for protection; don't let me be disgraced. Save me, for you do what is right. Turn your ear to listen to me; rescue me quickly. Be my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this danger. Pull me from the trap my enemies set for me, for I find protection in You alone. I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me, Lord, for you ar ea faithful God. I hate those who worship worthless idols. I trust in the Lord. I will be glad and rejoice in yoru unfailing love, for you have seen my troublese, and you care about the anguish of my soul. You have not handed me over to my enemies but have set my feet in a large place.
God IS bigger than our boogie men. May God's light chase out the shadows in your room of fears too!