Today's God-sized Dream post is to tell everyone what you want more of. As I thought about this post, a lot of things flitted through my mind because, to be honest, there are a lot of things I want more of - more patience, more graciousness, most listening and less talking, more trust, more stillness - but like Goldilocks, none of those seemed just right for this post.
Then I knew - I want know God more, to experience His presence more.
I don't mean that in a strange, lights flash, angels appearing way (although that would be very cool). I mean I want to KNOW God more. I want to be taken a little deeper into His intimacy. I hesitate to write this because it sort of makes it sound like I'm trying to be uber spiritual, and I am not.
The truth is, in the past few months, my quiet times have not been quiet and still - they've been rushed, harried and sometimes just not at all. I've been in this odd place of hurry and paralysis which you can read about in my previous post - and it made me a little distant from God. He never moved, but I did. I was a little put out that He would let me get on this team and then refused to show me which way He wanted me to go. Even though I asked - a lot!
Turns out He had already told me; I had just figured my way made more sense.
Since I realized how I was insisting on my own way, the way that made sense to me over what God had asked of me, my quiet times have had a new sweetness and well, quietness.
I love that! I didn't realize how much I missed that sweet communion until it was there again. I would like to say that I am just super spiritual, but I'm not. I've just gotten hooked on God's presence in my life.
I love the life of Moses - probably because I can relate so well. I may not have been an Egyptian prince or a fugitive, but I get the whole fear and anger issues Moses dealt with. I can also relate to something else about Moses - Moses wanted to see God.
He craved His presence so much, he asked to see God's glory. God allowed Moses to see the back of Him while God hid Moses in the crevice of a rock and covered him up with His hand. He told Moses that if Moses saw His full glory, Moses wouldn't live through it. Moses came down and his face shone so much he totally freaked the children of Israel out and had to wear a veil. People do tend to look at you a bit askance when God's reflected glory is shining out from your face. Some people will want to know why, but others will avoid you because it makes them uncomfortable.
Another time, God was so disgusted with the Israelites that He told Moses that He would send an angel with them and let Moses claim the Promised Land, but he'd have to go without God's presence. Moses refused to budge, saying he wouldn't go anywhere without God.
Moses had a lot of faults, but the one thing I love about his life was his continued desire to be in God's presence, to see God's glory.
I like to think that at the end of his life (this is just my imagination NOT actual Scripture, btw), as the people he had led so faithfully were preparing to cross the Jordan and enter the Promised Land, and Moses was headed up the mountain , that the last thing he saw was the God's glory in all its dazzling fullness - that he died having gotten his dearest wish. To see, really see, God's glory and His presence.
So, what do I want more of? I want God's presence, His glory, the intimate knowledge of Him in my life. I want people to see God's glory reflected in my face. Because really, without Him, my dreams lose their shininess, their sparkle, their very purpose. Without God's abiding presence in my life, everything else just doesn't matter anyway.
"You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence, there is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever." Psalms 16:11
Join us at Holley Gerth's link up and read about what other dreamers want more of in their lives!