Last week, I was feeling very thankful and aware of my many blessings - I just had a sense of contentment and warmth, like I was nestled in the palm of God's hand and right where I needed to be.
In the back of my mind I had that vague feeling of needing to be careful because I knew that it never fails when I feel thankful and content, that's when satan attacks. He waits until we get our guard down and then moves in.
I think the times I am most vulnerable is immediately after a mountaintop experience and when I am in the lowest part of the valley.
The former is because in a moment of victory, I am so busy doing my happy dance, I'm not really watching out for the enemies arrows. In the latter, I am so exhausted, I don't have the energy to look around, and sometimes, I'm just too tired to really care.
So, it wasn't surprising to me - after a great week last week - that this week has been less than stellar.
It started on Monday with several work related issues that caused me some stress (some of which are still raising my blood pressure) and just general feelings of being overwhelmed. It progressed to yesterday, when my youngest son was having some issues while I simultaneously found out we have a mouse (or mice) in our house {shudder} and then was capped off this morning when my computer completely crashed with a deadline looming.
Can I be honest and confess I lost my temper this morning? I punched several (soft) things and let loose with a few loud yowls in my frustration. I think I scared the dog.
Not feeling terribly thankful anymore, now was I?
After walking away from the computer for an hour, it finally came back on (whew!) and I was able to get my article edited and turned in.
A good friend of mine listened as I vented about my no-good, terrible week (that is only half over, I might add). I took a few deep breaths and felt myself calming down.
The truth is, I was ripe for an attack. My feelings of contentment had led to complaisancy. I had missed my quiet time all together yesterday and had shortened it several times last week - too busy and too lazy to refill myself with what was really my source of contentment to begin with - God.
So, instead of feeling peace and contentment, I was feeling anger, frustration and panic - not exactly the picture of that serene godly woman, is it?
Thankfully, God is always waiting for us. He never moves away or lets us down. He never fails us even when we are less than faithful.
"The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness."
That description of God is scattered throughout Scripture, and I take a lot of comfort in it because that means I don't have to be perfect. It means, even if it takes me a while to learn something, that God is not up in heaven tapping His foot and rolling His eyes at my denseness.
Instead, when I finally, finally get it, He looks at me with love and tenderness and says, "That's my girl!"
So, the next time you experience a mountain top experience, by all means do your version of a happy dance, but be sure to keep one hand on your sword and keep your shield of faith handy!
~Blessings, Bronte
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