Do you ever find yourself asking "what if"? I do it all the time. In fact, I'm so good at it, I can work myself into a mind-blowing tizzy in a matter of seconds - from serene to freaked out in under 60 seconds! That's not quite the kind of record I can be proud of though!
At the bottom the whirling, churning of "what if" worries though is the truth that what I am really doing is not trusting God with the future. I am choosing instead, to trust myself. All my excuses - I have an active imagination so I can't help it; I need to be practical and find solutions; etc. - are just a cover up that I am allowing circumstances that haven't even happened yet to trump what I know and profess to believe about God. Ouch!
Today in my Bible study, Linda Dillow shared several verses that really hit home - that whole Word of God being a sharp two-edged sword I guess. The one is a bit long so I won't write it all here but it is found in Jeremiah 17:5-8. It compares the life of a person who trusts in themselves - "like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitants" - to the person whose trust is in the Lord - "for he will be like a tree planted by the water, that etends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit."
As I read those verses, I realized that I really, really don't want to be like that dried up bush in the desert. I want to be like the green tree that still produces fruit even during a drought. I don't want to blend into the dry, thirsty landscape, no different than my surroundings. I want to stand out like a green beacon, a testiment to God's faithfulness even in seemingly unconducive conditions for growth.
Another verse that stuck with me was Psalms 112:7 which says, "He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." Can you imagine serenity and peace in the face of any news at all? That's what I want - to be fearless.
Of course, I can't get there on my own. I am weak and, well, rather wimpy if you want t know the truth. But I guess that is the whole point. I am not trusting in myself. I am trusting in God and His character, His promises, His faithfulness.
So, how do I do that practically? I think that if there is something looming on the horizon, I need to face it head on - what is the worst of my "what if" that could happen? Then I need to trust that God will be with me and carry me through even in that worst case scenerio. I'm reminded of Esther. She feared going in before the king without being summoned because he could kill her for that inpertinance. But she got to the point where she said, "If I perish, I perish." Only then could she do what God had asked of her.
The other thing I need to do is take my thoughts captive. I don't know about you, but my thoughts are pretty wild and uncontrollable sometimes and not very submissive to being tamed. But I have to run them through the filters of what is true and good and right. I have to saturate my mind with God's Word so that instead of Satan's lies, I can hold onto truth even when my feelings and thoughts aren't there yet.
So I'm left with another "what if." What if I trusted God's character and faithfulness rather than my circumstances and imaginings? What if you did?
~ Blessings, Bronte