You may read that title and think huh??? Yesterday, I was doing my Bible study on false gods by Kelly Minter. She was talking about how the Israelites had a hard time emotionally and intellectually leaving Egypt behind. They were at the border of the Promised Land the first time and Moses sent in the 12 spies. Joshua and Caleb, remembering God's promises and seeing the incredible bounty of the promised land, were very excited. The whole group dragged back giant fruit. The other ten, despite lugging those giant grapes all the way back to the camp, could only think about the other really big thing they saw - the giant people.
Several times in Scripture, there is reference to a race or group of people that apparently were way bigger than the average person. In common venacular maybe giants or just the equivalent of a whole country of Shaquille O'Neil's. Eitehr way, they looked rather intimidating.
So, on the edge of the Promised Land, the Israelites balked. Fear made them not want to go forward, to fight and defeat the giants so they could claim the Promised Land. It would be so easy for me to roll my eyes and to look down at them. After all, look at all the miracles God had performed for them. I mean, honestly - freed from Egypt and all the plagues and the Red Sea for goodness' sake! What was there to fear? God had promised them the land. He had led them here and had performed major, can't miss them miracles to get them there. So what were a few giants? The bigger they are, the harder they fall right?
Well, God hit me right between the eyes. I'm standing on the bank too. God has called me to write, yet all I can see are the giants in my path. A particularly large one knocked on my door this week. An article I had put out to a very large Christian publication had gone through several rounds of editors. The publication had gone through some major changes and I had worked with an editor, rewriting it even. It had been an eight month process. So, when I got the email stating they didn't want it - I was crushed. I felt like throwing in the towel. It was like that acceptance would have stamped me as a "real" writer and said that I could do it. Getting a rejection, well, it felt like the giant hadn't just knocked on my door, but had stepped on me too.
I threw myself a little pity party. It went on all week, as thing after thing interupted and disrupted my week - my oldest son was sick on Monday and then had to stay home again on Thursday. The times I had counted on to get things done were no longer existent. To top it off, Friday morning we had a school delay. I had a group that was coming in to talk to my students. Because of the delay, I had to cancel the group. So, instead of enjoying a morning sleeping in, I was frantically calling around to make sure the group didn't show up. I felt like I spent most mornings this week in a whirl of confusion and stress. Add to all this my husband being gone every night and I the giants seemed to be breathing down my neck!
It just seemed the obstacles to a writing career seemed too many and too much. But no matter how I felt, my goal this year is to live what I KNOW to be true. And the truth is, God has called me to write. God equips those He calls. He doesn't call you and then just leave you floundering on your own. I just need to take the next step - that step across the Jordan. I need to focus on the giant fruit, not the giant obstacles whether they come in the form of hurtful rejection or sick kids.
I'm going to claim my Promised Land and just let those giants try to get me!