Saturday, October 31, 2009

GOD IS ON THE THRONE (and so was I)

Usually, October is one of my favorite months. The weather is getting cooler but isn't bone chillingly cold yet - just nice and crisp. The leaves have usually turned by now and walking is an act of worship. I'm always amazed that God didn't just create a world that was functional but also one that is so beautiful it takes my breath away. There is no real function for beauty but maybe it is to draw us to worship its Creator.

But this October has been something of a trial. We had some household things that happened - gas leak, backed up toilet - that cost us quite a little bundle. Last night, the wind whipped up so fiercely, it actually tore our back screen door apart which means more money out of pocket.

Then there have been the health issues. Last school year, I believe I missed a total of one day all year. This month, I've missed six. Just this month! At least my students told me they missed me. :) First I got some not so great test results which meant I got a colonoscopy and endoscopy scheduled. Then I got what the doctor believed to be h1n1 which also gave me walking pneumonia. Praise the Lord the doctor caught it early and it cleared up with some antibiotics. I finally felt better from that, went to school and got the stomach flu. Then I finally got my stomach back to normal and I had to do a colonoscopy prep. I don't know if you've ever done one of those, but let's just say, you need to be close to the bathroom.

So, Tuesday came- the day of prepping- and it wasn't too bad. Although I have to say, I kind of felt like I was poisoning myself as I tool all those laxatives. Then Wednesday morning came and I was trying to get my kids off to school (after taking the rest of the medications, thus having to continually run to the bathroom).

My youngest son, Brody, had to go to chapel dressed as a Bible character. Knowing I'd be sort of, er, tied up in the morning, I had gotten all of his stuff ready the night before. I hadn't counted on one thing - his beard had to be white. Yes, my son was Moses and a normal brown beard (which I could color on with a marker) was not good enough. "Moses had a white beard!" my son insisted.

I was sort of stumped. The only thing I could think of was putting cotton balls on his face and they would have to stay all day long. We tried one - he thought it felt awful. So, with only 15 minutes before we needed to leave, my dear child decided he would rather be David. He was very picky about his props, so it took me a while to find a pouch with 5 stones and to make a rough sling out of an old dish cloth and dig out an old headband for him. The handle of my bissel carpet thingy was his staff. The whole time, keep in mind, I had to keep running to my own personal throne. I would bring something out and Brody would say, That isn't right or that isn't how it should look.

I could feel myself getting shrill and knew a total screaming fit was not far off - for me, not my son. I took a deep breath. I turned to him, looked him right in the eye and said, "Look, you have complained about everything I have suggested. You have a choice- you can use what I am giving you or you can not dress up at all. It's your choice, bud. Now I have to go to the bathroom." I turned on my heel and raced down the hallway.

Even a year ago, this scenerio would have ended in tears, either my son, mine or both. I would have screamed my throat raw. I would have sent a very unhappy child to school late and I would have been home, feeling guilty for losing my temper. I'd like to say this is all from being so spiritual. It's not. God has just been changing me from the inside out. Instead of swallowing my anger until it bursts forth in an ugly torrent of words, He has been showing me how to express it in a more constructive way. Without yelling. It just goes to show, He is on the throne and can work even when I am on my throne.
~ Blessings, Bronte

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