Morning rolled around and I was NOT wanting to get up. My bed felt soft and inviting and the rain was coming down outside. It was a great day to stay under the covers, but unfortunately, my job doesn't give rain days! Too bad huh?
But off I went to school, feeling just a little blue. At this time of year, with only a couple weeks of school left, I am eager for summer vacation like most of my students. So, it wasn't with enthusiasm that I greeted my classes today, but ironically, it was my students that brought a smile to my face.
First, in my junior class, we are going through the Shakespeare play, Twelfth Night. We were on the final song by Feste when the bell rang the day before and I instructed the boy that was "playing" Feste to come prepared to give the song. He arrived with music and everything. By the end, we were all singing along with him.
Then, in came my seniors. They had video reports that were supposed to reflect our play Taming of the Shrew. They were hysterical. By the time class was done, my stomach hurt from laughing so hard. I then shared the videos with my sophomore class and a few others.
By the time I went home, I had a smile on my face. It's amazing what a really great belly laugh will do for your attitude and mood. I guess Provers is right when it says, "A merry heart does good like medicine." Guess God's wisdom still can't be beat!
~ Blessings, Bronte
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
HOMERUN HERO
Baseball season has officially started! I'm tired already. lol With two boys, both going different directions, often on the same night, I feel sort of like we are starting on a two month journey and I need to be storing up my energy for that race every afternoon from when the kids get out of school until when they have to be at their appointed places for the games. Whew! Some prayers for strength and a sense of humor (and good quick meal ideas!) would sure come in handy! :)
Last night was both of my boys first game of the season. We had the excitement of wearing their uniforms for the first time. We also had the angst of: "where is my glove?" "I can't find a belt for these pants and they're going to fall down!" and "I'll do my homework AFTER the game." (to which I said no! lol) I dug out my chair and packed our water bottles and the dog's chew bone and off my youngest son, Brody and I went to his first game. He informed me on the way over, he was going to get a homerun every time he got up to bat. I told him that was aiming maybe a tad bit too high, but even hitting the ball every time he got up to bat would be a great goal!
Being one of the older kids on the team now (it's for 6-8 year olds and Brody will be 8 yo in June), he did very well. He hit the ball and got on base every time he got up to bat. He even hit a homerun. I cheered loudly and wanted to tell everyone, "That's MY boy that hit that one!" He caught balls and tagged the other team out. Overall, I thought the game had been a success, both for the team (we won 17-21, not much defense lol) and for Brody personally.
Brody climbed into the car, and I said, "Wow! That was a great game, buddy! And you got a home run! You'll have to tell Dad about that one." His head drooped, "Yeah, but I had three errors, Mom," he said, his voice full of disappointment. Amazing, I had watched that game and thought how well the team had done in general and how well my son had done in particular, and I don't think it was totally a mom's bias. But somehow it wasn't enough. He hadn't done well enough. Instead of looking at the good things, he was focused on the three things he had done wrong.
While I am all for learning from our mistakes and I dont' believe in giving kids false praise or puffing up their egos, I also believe in acknowleding a job well done. I thought my son had done a good job. He thought he hadn't done good enough. After talking about what he could do about those errors (learn what he had done wrong and do it differently for a couple and one that there really wasn't anything he could have done), I told Brody that he needed to be happy with his game being good enough, even though it wasn't perfect. Rarely, do we give a perfect performance in anything.
It made me think how many times, we as Christians aren't content with good enough. We want perfect or better or bigger or higher. I wonder how many times that God shakes His head at us and thinks, "But child have enough. You don't need perfect - you just need enough." I wonder how many times, instead of being thankful for enough, I have felt it wasn't good enough or I wasn't good enough. God tells us His faith is sufficient for us and that our HIS strength is made perfect in OUR weaknesses." HE is always just enough for every need, every obstacle, every difficulty. He always gives us just enough to make it through every difficult place. Sometimes, we make it through by the skin of our teeth and sometimes, we hit it out of the park. But HIS grace and mercy and love are always just enough.
~ Blessings, Bronte
Last night was both of my boys first game of the season. We had the excitement of wearing their uniforms for the first time. We also had the angst of: "where is my glove?" "I can't find a belt for these pants and they're going to fall down!" and "I'll do my homework AFTER the game." (to which I said no! lol) I dug out my chair and packed our water bottles and the dog's chew bone and off my youngest son, Brody and I went to his first game. He informed me on the way over, he was going to get a homerun every time he got up to bat. I told him that was aiming maybe a tad bit too high, but even hitting the ball every time he got up to bat would be a great goal!
Being one of the older kids on the team now (it's for 6-8 year olds and Brody will be 8 yo in June), he did very well. He hit the ball and got on base every time he got up to bat. He even hit a homerun. I cheered loudly and wanted to tell everyone, "That's MY boy that hit that one!" He caught balls and tagged the other team out. Overall, I thought the game had been a success, both for the team (we won 17-21, not much defense lol) and for Brody personally.
Brody climbed into the car, and I said, "Wow! That was a great game, buddy! And you got a home run! You'll have to tell Dad about that one." His head drooped, "Yeah, but I had three errors, Mom," he said, his voice full of disappointment. Amazing, I had watched that game and thought how well the team had done in general and how well my son had done in particular, and I don't think it was totally a mom's bias. But somehow it wasn't enough. He hadn't done well enough. Instead of looking at the good things, he was focused on the three things he had done wrong.
While I am all for learning from our mistakes and I dont' believe in giving kids false praise or puffing up their egos, I also believe in acknowleding a job well done. I thought my son had done a good job. He thought he hadn't done good enough. After talking about what he could do about those errors (learn what he had done wrong and do it differently for a couple and one that there really wasn't anything he could have done), I told Brody that he needed to be happy with his game being good enough, even though it wasn't perfect. Rarely, do we give a perfect performance in anything.
It made me think how many times, we as Christians aren't content with good enough. We want perfect or better or bigger or higher. I wonder how many times that God shakes His head at us and thinks, "But child have enough. You don't need perfect - you just need enough." I wonder how many times, instead of being thankful for enough, I have felt it wasn't good enough or I wasn't good enough. God tells us His faith is sufficient for us and that our HIS strength is made perfect in OUR weaknesses." HE is always just enough for every need, every obstacle, every difficulty. He always gives us just enough to make it through every difficult place. Sometimes, we make it through by the skin of our teeth and sometimes, we hit it out of the park. But HIS grace and mercy and love are always just enough.
~ Blessings, Bronte
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
INTERCESSION
My first thought for my blog was a kind of review of the things I learned in the Esther study we just concluded at church. It was truly excellent and I learned a lot, but this morning I was reading in Deuteronomy (yes, I'm still trying to make my way through the entire Bible this year - I just keep getting sidetracked!).
It's always interesting to read a Biblical character's last words to a person or group. II Timothy is Paul's exhortation to his spiritual son Timothy before Paul was executed. The beginning of Deuteronomy are the parting words Moses had for the Israelites before they entered the Promised Land. Moses knew he wouldn't be going in because he had disobeyed the Lord, but he wanted to get a few things off his chest before the people crossed the Jordan. After all, who knew the people better than Moses? He had been with them for the last 40 years, listening to their constant complaining and whining. Maybe in some ways, God's punishment was a blessing in disguise. I'm sure Moses was tired. Or maybe he was feeling a bit bitter - after all, the children of Israel hadn't been too exemplary in their behavior either. In any comparison, Moses would have come out ahead in the good vs. bad debate. Whatever his feelings, this chapter shows Moses' great love for this cantankerous and stubborn people.
A little while ago, I wrote about Deuteronomy 8 where Moses tells them why they were in the wilderness. In this chapter, Moses tells them that God is going to go before them to destroy their enemies because, get this, the peoples of the earth needed to know that God was going to fulfill His covenant to His people and because the enemies of the Israelites were wicked. Moses mentions several times, that God wasn't doing this because of THEIR righteousness.
Then he goes on to say that's because you aren't very righteous at all. He starts to recount the times the Israelites blew it, big time. Interestingly, three different times God was so angry with the Israelites, He was ready to destroy them, but each time Moses fasted from food AND water to intercede to God on the behalf of the Israelites. One time, God even offered to make a great people out of Moses. Moses turned Him down and instead pled for his people.
Moses had alot of faults. He was fearful and he had quite a temper, but he was just as passionate in his loves. He LOVED the people of Israel. He was willing to go without, not just for a day or three or even a week, but for 40 days and nights. For people who were hard to love, difficult to handle and annoying as all get out!
It hit me square between the eyes, I complain plenty myself. When I spend my time putting down the current administrations decisions, how much time have I spent in prayer for those same people? Is it even close to the same amount of time? Hardly! When I whine about how this person or that person has offended me or hurt my feelings or hasn't met my needs, how much have I prayed for them?
I came to the very uncomfortable conclusion that if I spent HALF the amount of time I spend talking in prayer, I would see some real differences, if not in others, then certainly in my own life, attitudes and ideas. It made me squirm to realize I spent far more time praying about my own concerns and fears than I did interceding on the behalf of others.
What would happen if I took every complaint, concern and need to Christ instead of talking about it to someone else or worrying about it in my mind? I'm excited to find out! How about you?
~ Blessings, Bronte
It's always interesting to read a Biblical character's last words to a person or group. II Timothy is Paul's exhortation to his spiritual son Timothy before Paul was executed. The beginning of Deuteronomy are the parting words Moses had for the Israelites before they entered the Promised Land. Moses knew he wouldn't be going in because he had disobeyed the Lord, but he wanted to get a few things off his chest before the people crossed the Jordan. After all, who knew the people better than Moses? He had been with them for the last 40 years, listening to their constant complaining and whining. Maybe in some ways, God's punishment was a blessing in disguise. I'm sure Moses was tired. Or maybe he was feeling a bit bitter - after all, the children of Israel hadn't been too exemplary in their behavior either. In any comparison, Moses would have come out ahead in the good vs. bad debate. Whatever his feelings, this chapter shows Moses' great love for this cantankerous and stubborn people.
A little while ago, I wrote about Deuteronomy 8 where Moses tells them why they were in the wilderness. In this chapter, Moses tells them that God is going to go before them to destroy their enemies because, get this, the peoples of the earth needed to know that God was going to fulfill His covenant to His people and because the enemies of the Israelites were wicked. Moses mentions several times, that God wasn't doing this because of THEIR righteousness.
Then he goes on to say that's because you aren't very righteous at all. He starts to recount the times the Israelites blew it, big time. Interestingly, three different times God was so angry with the Israelites, He was ready to destroy them, but each time Moses fasted from food AND water to intercede to God on the behalf of the Israelites. One time, God even offered to make a great people out of Moses. Moses turned Him down and instead pled for his people.
Moses had alot of faults. He was fearful and he had quite a temper, but he was just as passionate in his loves. He LOVED the people of Israel. He was willing to go without, not just for a day or three or even a week, but for 40 days and nights. For people who were hard to love, difficult to handle and annoying as all get out!
It hit me square between the eyes, I complain plenty myself. When I spend my time putting down the current administrations decisions, how much time have I spent in prayer for those same people? Is it even close to the same amount of time? Hardly! When I whine about how this person or that person has offended me or hurt my feelings or hasn't met my needs, how much have I prayed for them?
I came to the very uncomfortable conclusion that if I spent HALF the amount of time I spend talking in prayer, I would see some real differences, if not in others, then certainly in my own life, attitudes and ideas. It made me squirm to realize I spent far more time praying about my own concerns and fears than I did interceding on the behalf of others.
What would happen if I took every complaint, concern and need to Christ instead of talking about it to someone else or worrying about it in my mind? I'm excited to find out! How about you?
~ Blessings, Bronte
Sunday, April 26, 2009
PASSING THE TEST
I know it isn't exactly the same, but I feel like I can relate to Hannah in the Bible. I have always, always wanted a dog of my own (and yes, I know that wanting a child is NOT the same as wanting a dog, but bear with me). My parents are not animal people. They DID let me have a parade of small animals that could be kept in cages. We started with a hamster that lived so long it's fur went grey. The next few weren't quite as lucky. Then I got one gerbil and ended up with nine! That was a bit of surprise. I also had a guinea pig that died of pneumonia. Go figure. After having a couple of these small, furry animals for my own children, I appreciate anew how much my parents were willing to give when it came to having a pet. (personally, I think a cat is about the easiest pet ever)
But no matter how much I loved Chippy, Ginger, Spice, Cleo and all the others, I would still spend hours in the pet store drooling over the puppies. I'd bring a little pad of paper and add up all the things I'd need and how much it would cost. (btw, just a heads up - NEVER buy a puppy from the pet store!)
When I got married, I thought at long last I'd be able to have a dog. But, although my husband had a cat when I met him, he was not an animal person. I was married 14 years before I finally got my puppy. He was so cute - he looked like a little stuffed animal. I told God when I got my puppy that if it was at all possible, I'd really like to use him to minister to people, to bring them cheer and hope. There is nothing like doggy kisses to brighten your day.
Well, Kipper is now about 20 months old. He has been through puppy kindergarten, basic obedience, advanced obedience, gotten his canine good citizenship, and today, he passed his certification to be a therapy dog. One of the things I've always dreamed about came true today. My plan is to not just visit in nursing homes (and the elderly LOVE Kipper because he looks just like Lassie) but to also go to area schools to teach kids how to interact with dogs. In our county alone, there were 215 dog bites, many of those being children. Dogs can be a wonderful part of our lives, but many children either haven't had the chance to be around dogs or have had bad experiences. I want to open that world to them - the joy of communicating and sharing companionship with another species - and today, when Kipper passed that test, my dream came true.
I was so nervous yesterday and today. I even felt kind of sick to my stomach. Before we left, I just said, "God, either we pass or we don't. It's up to You." In His goodness, we did pass. I know many of you are thinking well, does God really care about someone's dog? The answer is God can use anything that we fully give to Him. I am looking forward to seeing how God will use Kipper in someone's life, even if is just bringing a smile to their face on an otherwise melancholy day.
~ Blessings, Bronte
But no matter how much I loved Chippy, Ginger, Spice, Cleo and all the others, I would still spend hours in the pet store drooling over the puppies. I'd bring a little pad of paper and add up all the things I'd need and how much it would cost. (btw, just a heads up - NEVER buy a puppy from the pet store!)
When I got married, I thought at long last I'd be able to have a dog. But, although my husband had a cat when I met him, he was not an animal person. I was married 14 years before I finally got my puppy. He was so cute - he looked like a little stuffed animal. I told God when I got my puppy that if it was at all possible, I'd really like to use him to minister to people, to bring them cheer and hope. There is nothing like doggy kisses to brighten your day.
Well, Kipper is now about 20 months old. He has been through puppy kindergarten, basic obedience, advanced obedience, gotten his canine good citizenship, and today, he passed his certification to be a therapy dog. One of the things I've always dreamed about came true today. My plan is to not just visit in nursing homes (and the elderly LOVE Kipper because he looks just like Lassie) but to also go to area schools to teach kids how to interact with dogs. In our county alone, there were 215 dog bites, many of those being children. Dogs can be a wonderful part of our lives, but many children either haven't had the chance to be around dogs or have had bad experiences. I want to open that world to them - the joy of communicating and sharing companionship with another species - and today, when Kipper passed that test, my dream came true.
I was so nervous yesterday and today. I even felt kind of sick to my stomach. Before we left, I just said, "God, either we pass or we don't. It's up to You." In His goodness, we did pass. I know many of you are thinking well, does God really care about someone's dog? The answer is God can use anything that we fully give to Him. I am looking forward to seeing how God will use Kipper in someone's life, even if is just bringing a smile to their face on an otherwise melancholy day.
~ Blessings, Bronte
Friday, April 24, 2009
A BOOK BY ANY OTHER NAME
I was at the library the other week, and a title just jumped out at me. It was called Stuck. I knew I had to get it. I wanted to see what someone thought of being stuck from a secular perspective.
So, I started reading, and not really all that surprisingly, I got about three or four chapters in and the author started talking about how religion is a type of being stuck in the past. Bound by traditions and rules that no longer work in our current world. At first I felt rather indignant. Then I realized she was right. Religion WILL keep you stuck.
What I have is a relationship. A relationship with Christ. It's different because with Christ, you aren't stuck. With Christ, it is possible to overcome strongholds, move past old hurts, let go of unforgivness, love the unlovable, be filled with the Holy Spirit, show the fruits of the spirit. None of those things are possible on your own. Being in relationship with Christ is the only way to be unstuck. It's through HIS power that we are able to "throw off the chains that so easily bind us and run the race that is set before us." That's not being stuck. That's living in the fullness of Christ.
So, don't give me that old time religion. Give me an everchanging, yet always reliable relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the only one with the true power to set us free. Free indeed!
~ Blessings, Bronte
So, I started reading, and not really all that surprisingly, I got about three or four chapters in and the author started talking about how religion is a type of being stuck in the past. Bound by traditions and rules that no longer work in our current world. At first I felt rather indignant. Then I realized she was right. Religion WILL keep you stuck.
What I have is a relationship. A relationship with Christ. It's different because with Christ, you aren't stuck. With Christ, it is possible to overcome strongholds, move past old hurts, let go of unforgivness, love the unlovable, be filled with the Holy Spirit, show the fruits of the spirit. None of those things are possible on your own. Being in relationship with Christ is the only way to be unstuck. It's through HIS power that we are able to "throw off the chains that so easily bind us and run the race that is set before us." That's not being stuck. That's living in the fullness of Christ.
So, don't give me that old time religion. Give me an everchanging, yet always reliable relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the only one with the true power to set us free. Free indeed!
~ Blessings, Bronte
Sunday, April 19, 2009
TRUST
As I have said in a couple posts, I am studying Beth Moore's Bible study, Esther: It's tough being a woman. God has been teaching me a lot through this Old Testament soap opera. (Honestly, Days of Our Lives has nothing over the book of Esther) In each lesson, she tells a way that it is tough being a woman. One of those is "It is tough being a woman in the tight grip of fear." Gee, do you think I can relate? lol
I mentioned in my last post that you see a theme, called the reversal of destiny in the book of Esther in many ways. Mrs. Moore talked about the way we can turn these sayings around using Scripture. I realized one thing I can do against fear is to wield my weapon. What weapon you might ask? (if you know me, this question would be said in some alarm because the idea of an actual weapon in my hands would be a very scary thing! lol) This weapon I'm talking about, though, can't harm you, but it sure sends the evil one running for cover! It is God's Word. It is THE truth. The Bible tells us that Satan is the father of lies and he is very, very good at deceiving Christians. Granted, sometimes it doesn't take much to get us to believe his lies as we are just looking for an excuse to give in to defeat or sin.
The only way to defeat Satan, though, is to take a page out of Jesus's book when He was tempted. He didn't argue with Satan or try to reason with him or justify anything. He simply quoted Scripture. And it was as effective as kryptanite is on Superman. But the thing is, we can quote Scripture all we want, but if we don't believe it and trust that God is speaking the truth, it doesn't work quite as well.
Then it hit me how all of this is tied together and how it works to free us from the stronghold of fear. TRUTH leads us to TRUST, and TRUST lets us BELIEVE the TRUTH. And the real root of fear is a lack of trust, isn't it? I mean, if I fear being stuck that means I don't trust that God has a plan for me.
There is a verse that says, "Perfect love casts out fear." I think that means that GOD's perfect love casts out fear because we can trust Him with everything. A couple weeks ago, I was sitting in Sunday school class and we were having a discussion about Colossians. The leader said, "It's not all about me." And my first thought was but what about ME? I mean, don't I count for anything? Don't my needs and desires have a place too? Almost immediately the verse came to my mind about GOD meeting all my needs. I didn't have to worry or fear that my needs wouldn't be met because my Heavenly Father, who takes care of the very birds in the air loves me and has the best in mind for me, even when it doesn't appear to make much earthly sense.
But in order to trust, I need to know the truth. It is one of those circular things, but this time in a good way. Ideally, the more I learn truth, the more I will trust in God which will lead me to seek more of His truth which will in turn strengthen my trust, and, well, I think you get the picture. And when I start speaking the truth, Satan plugs his ears and runs away. He is all about deception and illusion. The Truth is too bright a light for him. He prefers the dark.
Jesus IS the light of the world. With Him, there are no shadows of doubt as He shines the light of His truth into the darkest corners of the soul. And doesn't light make our fears so much smaller and more manageable?
~ Blessings, Bronte
I mentioned in my last post that you see a theme, called the reversal of destiny in the book of Esther in many ways. Mrs. Moore talked about the way we can turn these sayings around using Scripture. I realized one thing I can do against fear is to wield my weapon. What weapon you might ask? (if you know me, this question would be said in some alarm because the idea of an actual weapon in my hands would be a very scary thing! lol) This weapon I'm talking about, though, can't harm you, but it sure sends the evil one running for cover! It is God's Word. It is THE truth. The Bible tells us that Satan is the father of lies and he is very, very good at deceiving Christians. Granted, sometimes it doesn't take much to get us to believe his lies as we are just looking for an excuse to give in to defeat or sin.
The only way to defeat Satan, though, is to take a page out of Jesus's book when He was tempted. He didn't argue with Satan or try to reason with him or justify anything. He simply quoted Scripture. And it was as effective as kryptanite is on Superman. But the thing is, we can quote Scripture all we want, but if we don't believe it and trust that God is speaking the truth, it doesn't work quite as well.
Then it hit me how all of this is tied together and how it works to free us from the stronghold of fear. TRUTH leads us to TRUST, and TRUST lets us BELIEVE the TRUTH. And the real root of fear is a lack of trust, isn't it? I mean, if I fear being stuck that means I don't trust that God has a plan for me.
There is a verse that says, "Perfect love casts out fear." I think that means that GOD's perfect love casts out fear because we can trust Him with everything. A couple weeks ago, I was sitting in Sunday school class and we were having a discussion about Colossians. The leader said, "It's not all about me." And my first thought was but what about ME? I mean, don't I count for anything? Don't my needs and desires have a place too? Almost immediately the verse came to my mind about GOD meeting all my needs. I didn't have to worry or fear that my needs wouldn't be met because my Heavenly Father, who takes care of the very birds in the air loves me and has the best in mind for me, even when it doesn't appear to make much earthly sense.
But in order to trust, I need to know the truth. It is one of those circular things, but this time in a good way. Ideally, the more I learn truth, the more I will trust in God which will lead me to seek more of His truth which will in turn strengthen my trust, and, well, I think you get the picture. And when I start speaking the truth, Satan plugs his ears and runs away. He is all about deception and illusion. The Truth is too bright a light for him. He prefers the dark.
Jesus IS the light of the world. With Him, there are no shadows of doubt as He shines the light of His truth into the darkest corners of the soul. And doesn't light make our fears so much smaller and more manageable?
~ Blessings, Bronte
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
PERIPETY
What in the world is peripety you may be asking. It's a nifty little word that Beth Moore shared in her Bible study, Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman. What it means is a sudden reversal of destiny or fortune, that event or moment when the turn actually comes. I think I experienced peripety last night as I watched the video for session 6 of her Bible study.
She was talking about how you can be on the road with what looks like a certain future when God comes along and picks you up and sets you on a completely different path. As you know, I've been feeling stuck, like I'm getting nowhere fast in my goals and what I feel is my calling. She said something that struck me right between my eyes: "It's tough being a woman when you feel responsible for the how."
The peripetious moment in the book of Esther didn't come when Esther went before the king, risking her life. It didn't come when she confronted Haman and revealed her identity. No, the reveral of destiny came when Xerxes had a sleepless night and called for the book of records to be opened. Lo and behold the book opened to an accounting of Mordecai saving the king from a plot against him, an accomplishment that was never really recognized. (side note to self - when I feel passed by for recognition, maybe there is a divine purpose for it and God's timing is better - hmmm) In other words, Esther, even though she had to get over her fears and be brave, still didn't have to worry about the "how." She only had to obey.
I can hear my fears loud and clear in my brain - what if you're no good? what if nobody ever wants to read what you write? what if... how will you... where do you find.... But, I don't have to worry about the how; I just have to obey. Another part of the session hit me too, although probably not quite the way Mrs. Moore originally intended. One of her last points was "your story is good enough to tell." I got chill bumps when she said that. It was like God was speaking directly to me.
So, even though I don't know how this will work out and I feel like the country cousin come to visit in New York City when I think about the business of writing, I don't have to worry about that. I just have to obey, pick up my pen and write. God will just have to help me be brave, but He does tell us that whatever we have need of, to ask and He will give it.
~ Blessings, Bronte
She was talking about how you can be on the road with what looks like a certain future when God comes along and picks you up and sets you on a completely different path. As you know, I've been feeling stuck, like I'm getting nowhere fast in my goals and what I feel is my calling. She said something that struck me right between my eyes: "It's tough being a woman when you feel responsible for the how."
The peripetious moment in the book of Esther didn't come when Esther went before the king, risking her life. It didn't come when she confronted Haman and revealed her identity. No, the reveral of destiny came when Xerxes had a sleepless night and called for the book of records to be opened. Lo and behold the book opened to an accounting of Mordecai saving the king from a plot against him, an accomplishment that was never really recognized. (side note to self - when I feel passed by for recognition, maybe there is a divine purpose for it and God's timing is better - hmmm) In other words, Esther, even though she had to get over her fears and be brave, still didn't have to worry about the "how." She only had to obey.
I can hear my fears loud and clear in my brain - what if you're no good? what if nobody ever wants to read what you write? what if... how will you... where do you find.... But, I don't have to worry about the how; I just have to obey. Another part of the session hit me too, although probably not quite the way Mrs. Moore originally intended. One of her last points was "your story is good enough to tell." I got chill bumps when she said that. It was like God was speaking directly to me.
So, even though I don't know how this will work out and I feel like the country cousin come to visit in New York City when I think about the business of writing, I don't have to worry about that. I just have to obey, pick up my pen and write. God will just have to help me be brave, but He does tell us that whatever we have need of, to ask and He will give it.
~ Blessings, Bronte
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