Wednesday, June 19, 2013


As summer gears up, I got out my shorts, capris and tank tops. I looked forward to shedding my winter coat and not having to take 10 minutes to bundle up so I can go out the door and not freeze to death.

I'm looking forward to the sunshine and slower days and days at the beach. There are a lot of things I look forward to about summer.

But there's one thing I don't.

I was at Kohls the other day. I had run in to see if there was anything cute I could get with my 30% off coupon. A group of giggling teenage girls went in the doors right before me. One girl was wearing a shirt that was cut so low, her boobs threatened to make a break for it, and I was hoping one of the other girls didn't drop anything because her shorts were so tiny, I was afraid I'd get mooned.

It's hot outside - I get that - but please, as a mom of two boys in their tween and teen years, can I ask you to encourage your daughters to cover up a little bit more?

As one mom to another, can I ask you for a little help? Wherever we go, my boys are bombarded with images of half naked females - in the grocery store waiting to check out, walking through the mall to buy a pretzel or a pair of tennis shoes, on the sides of roads we drive down where billboards and even the sides of buses sport six foot tall cleavage.

So, when we go to church or a school activity or even shopping, it would be really awesome if my boys didn't have to constantly divert their eyes from the girls around them. It would be a true blessing if they didn't have to stare fixedly at the grass or a tree in the distance to avoid looking at your daughter because she is wearing shorts that barely cover her or a shirt that dips too low or clothing that is so tight it leaves little to the imagination.

I'm trying to do my part. I have taught my boys from a young age to respect girls, to treat them with care and kindness. Even as toddlers, I drilled it into their little heads that you never, ever hit a girl. As they got older, I taught them to let the girls go first, to open a door, to lend a hand, that girls were to be protected and cherished and defended.

I know that the responsibility is ultimately on them. I know that they need to learn how to bounce their eyes off of provocative images and resist the urge to let their minds "go there" even if they do see someone dressed inappropriately.

I know there are women who blithely say it is the man's problem and not theirs. I know that no matter how a woman dresses, it doesn't give anyone the right to treat her poorly. I really do get all that being a woman myself.

However, I also know that when something that is very tempting is constantly dangled in front of you, it takes a lot of grace and God's power to continue to do the right thing.

The thing is, I don't believe most young girls really and truly understand what dressing immodestly does to the males around them. Sure, they probably enjoy the attention, but have little understanding of what that attention really means. They feel pretty or desirable or special.

In fact, I would venture to say that there are a lot of moms who really don't understand that it's not just "bad" men who think "that way" about their daughters when they dress provocatively.

What many women don't realize is that the guys around them aren't thinking beautiful or special. Instead, that girl has become an object of desire to them with the key word being object - not person. That includes not just the cute boy on the basketball team, but grandpa, too. Ewwww.

I listened to this today and found it very interesting.

I want my sons to view your daughters as people - not objects.

Please don't think I am judging you or your daughters. We live in a culture that makes raising kids hard. I know that our culture sends a constant message to our daughters that their only worth comes from their sexual appeal. When you're in middle school or high school, it's hard not to want to fit in, to be liked, to feel worthwhile. Our culture sells sex to both girls and boys as a way to do that.

I know it's hard.

So, let's help each other. As moms, let's partner together to raise boys and girls that respect themselves and each other.

As a mom of a daughter, what's one thing you wish moms of boys would teach their sons?

~ Blessings, Bronte


  1. Rosanne,
    Excellent article and I'm pleased to say that my daughter never gave us cause to doubt her dress. Maybe her Mom did the right thing in that department.
    Love you,

    1. You were a great mom and let me be myself (remember all that army green and black I wore one year? lol), but also had an expectation of modesty. I never tried it because I knew I'd never get away with it! :) Love you too!