Well, the first thing I learned was that I complain more than I thought I did. The longest I've gone without moving my bracelet was 2 days, and I think that had more to do with me staying at home by myself than any real virtue on my part. Hard to complain when the only one listening is the dog! lol
What has blessed me more than anything in this little experiment is meditating on God's lovingkindness. I stumbled across Psalms 136 again doing this study. Once I read it, I went "I remember this Psalm" from when I spent a couple years studying the Psalms. It's this awesome chapter and every single verse ends with, "his lovingkindness is everlasting" or if you use a KJV, "his love endures forever."
I got goosebumps as I read through this Psalm - every verse ends with the proclamation that "His love endures forever." No matter what is going on, "his love endures forever."
It's such a hugely comforting thought to me - no matter what is going on, no matter how I feel, no matter what dumb thing I do - HIS lovingkindness is everlasting; HIS loved endures forever. Wow. That's all I have for that one - wow!
The second thing that hit me again was that truth and lovingkindness go together. Every day, as I looked at all the verses that contained the word lovingkindness, over and over it was tied to truth.
In other words, God's lovingkindness towards me is not because He doesn't really see me and all the ugliness that is in the nooks and crannies of my soul. He sees all that - He sees completely truth but His lovingkindness is still abundantly poured out on me.
The other thing I saw was various versions of this phrasing, "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness." I think I saw this over a dozen times (now I am curious and will have to go back to actually count - I'm nerdy like that!).
What another huge comfort to me - God's anger is slow to kindle. That's a good thing because I tend to be a ssslllooowwww learner.
There is a verse, I think it is in Micah but I could be wrong, that talks about God delighting over us. I got a glimpse of this last night at work.
For the most part, I enjoy my work at Sylvan. Every once in a while, I get a difficult child. When I see their name on the board listed under me, I sort of cringe. (unlike God, I don't abound in lovingkindness most of the time). Last night, I got one of those "difficult" children. I decided that I was going to jolly him into good behavior.
He is adorably cute, but spent the first 20 minutes zipped up in his coat with only a hand or an eyeball visible. Of course, he thought this was hilariously funny. I did not.
After my other student left (she informed me she felt like throwing up at which point I promptly sent her to the bathroom and used long handled tongs to pick up her books and things from the table), I finally got his cute little face to appear out of its zippered cave.
As I was able to devote my full attention to this little guy, something happened. He got excited about doing well. The more I praised him and gave him tokens, the more excited he got. (we give small plastic tokens for doing work that can be saved up and then turned in for various toys).
Just to give you an idea of the change - the first hour he got 6 tokens. The second hour, he got 22 tokens! He was so excited. He kept saying, "I'm working real good aren't I - what's your name again?"
Not only was he working well, but suddenly, he was mannerly and respectful. He said "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am." Another teacher who was nearby joked by asking me what I had drugged him with.
The thing was, by the time he left he was so pleased with his hard work and good behavior, I hardly had to convince him at all. He gave me an exuberant hug on the way out the door, after happily showing me his very cool toy he was able to buy with all of his tokens. Again, he said, "I did really good didn't I?" To which I could honestly reply, "You did awesome!"
The thing was, it was a lot of fun for me to delight over this little guy's good behavior and hard work. It was even more fun because he has a history of being difficult.
How much more does God delight over you or me when we finally "get" it and do what He wants us to do? His lovingkindness splashes out and over us, giving us joy.
I'm so glad I serve a God that has such great lovingkindness toward me that we can delight in each other.
~ Blessings, Bronte
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
LOVINGKINDNESS AND TRUTH GO TOGETHER
Yesterday, as I meditated on God's lovingkindness, the verse that stood out to me was in Psalms 25:10 where it said that "all the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness." Today, as I looked at my list of verses that list the word "lovingkindness" (most of them seem to be in the Psalms, not surprisingly!), two things hit me: lovingkindness and truth are often linked together and celebrating God's lovingkindness seems to be the thing to do in the morning.
Personally, I find this rather applicable to me at this time in my life, as one of my goals is to get up earlier. To say I don't celebrate much in the morning would be a vast understatement! lol Well, at least until AFTER my morning coffee. It's rather comforting to me to know that I can sing joyfully about God's lovingkindness - even in the morning!
The next thing I want to look at is that lovingkindness and truth are linked together. In Psalms 40:11; 57:3, 10, lovingkindness and truth are linked. To me, this is a profound thing for us to get. So many times, we seem to have this idea that love, to be really loving, has to be blind.
It's as if lovingkindess - showing merciful favor - involves ignoring reality. On many social network sites, I see a lot of this idea that we are to blindly offer help to the needy, regardless of the circumstances - whether the person is irresponsible or has addiction issues or continues to make poor choices doesn't seem to matter.
When I nicely pointed out that while the poor and needy were provided for by God's laws in the Old Testament, they were required to work, I got shot down for not being "really loving."
Hmmm - Ruth was required to glean while Boaz (and other land owners) were supposed to leave extra for them. BOTH the giver and the taker had a responsibility.
It IS possible to show lovingkindess and be cognizant of the truth. Sometimes, that means doing the tougher thing rather than the easier, "nicer" thing. Nowhere in Scripture does it advocate giving a free ride to someone that chooses NOT to work despited being able-bodied. We can give encouragement and help that person acquire skills. We can give people a hand when they fall down, so they have time to get up and dust themselves off. We can certainly provide for those who truly CAN'T provide for themselves due to illness or something similiar. But to continue to enable someone in irresponsibility or laziness is not Scriptural, and I dare say, it is not very loving either.
Lovingkindness and truth not only can exist together, but they go hand in hand. God doesn't ask us to love blindly, but with our eyes wide open to the truth around us.
"He will send from heaven and save me; He reproaches him who tramples upon me. God will send forth His lovingkindness and His truth." Psalms 57:3
~ Blessings, Bronte
Personally, I find this rather applicable to me at this time in my life, as one of my goals is to get up earlier. To say I don't celebrate much in the morning would be a vast understatement! lol Well, at least until AFTER my morning coffee. It's rather comforting to me to know that I can sing joyfully about God's lovingkindness - even in the morning!
The next thing I want to look at is that lovingkindness and truth are linked together. In Psalms 40:11; 57:3, 10, lovingkindness and truth are linked. To me, this is a profound thing for us to get. So many times, we seem to have this idea that love, to be really loving, has to be blind.
It's as if lovingkindess - showing merciful favor - involves ignoring reality. On many social network sites, I see a lot of this idea that we are to blindly offer help to the needy, regardless of the circumstances - whether the person is irresponsible or has addiction issues or continues to make poor choices doesn't seem to matter.
When I nicely pointed out that while the poor and needy were provided for by God's laws in the Old Testament, they were required to work, I got shot down for not being "really loving."
Hmmm - Ruth was required to glean while Boaz (and other land owners) were supposed to leave extra for them. BOTH the giver and the taker had a responsibility.
It IS possible to show lovingkindess and be cognizant of the truth. Sometimes, that means doing the tougher thing rather than the easier, "nicer" thing. Nowhere in Scripture does it advocate giving a free ride to someone that chooses NOT to work despited being able-bodied. We can give encouragement and help that person acquire skills. We can give people a hand when they fall down, so they have time to get up and dust themselves off. We can certainly provide for those who truly CAN'T provide for themselves due to illness or something similiar. But to continue to enable someone in irresponsibility or laziness is not Scriptural, and I dare say, it is not very loving either.
Lovingkindness and truth not only can exist together, but they go hand in hand. God doesn't ask us to love blindly, but with our eyes wide open to the truth around us.
"He will send from heaven and save me; He reproaches him who tramples upon me. God will send forth His lovingkindness and His truth." Psalms 57:3
~ Blessings, Bronte
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
GOD HAS AN INTERESTING SENSE OF TIMING
During the summer of 2010, I decided to quit my teaching job and do some subbing. So, I went through the process of applying for a sub license. I carefully tucked the license away in my files and bought numerous books on subbing and prepared my sub "bag of tricks."
I really didn't expect any calls the first few weeks of school, but I had my bag ready and waiting to go. All I needed was for that phone to ring! So, every morning I woke up about 6 a.m. with a feeling of expectation. I waited for that first phone call with excitement and a small dose of trepidation.
I waited and I waited some more.
By November, I realized I was going to have to come up with a plan B. Within a few weeks, I had landed my current gig at the Lima News writing the religion page and student profiles every week and I also became a tutor at Sylvan.
I kept expecting my phone to ring any day with an offer to sub at one of the MANY schools I signed up for. No call ever came the entire school year.
Talking to other people, I found out this was practically unheard of, so I chalked it up to God knowing best.
This past year, I didn't even expect any calls at all. And I didn't get any.
Until today.
So, I have my first subbing job one and half years AFTER I signed up for my sub license. Not only do I have my first subbing job at a different school, but tomorrow I sub at TCS. So, two subbing jobs in the same week. Who would have guessed??
God provides, but He often does it in ways I just don't expect. Today, as I was meditating on God's lovingkindness (part of my challenge from my previous post), I came across a verse that said that the paths God leads us on are His lovingkindness. That just really hit me because often I don't like a particular path for whatever reason, but it says He leads on these paths and THAT is HIM showing His lovingkindness to me.
As I try to stay accountable in the three challenges I have set for myself - not moving my "whining" bracelet (which I haven't had to move today at all - mostly because I've been sitting here by myself), meditating in the morning on God's lovingkindness and His faithfulness at night (in the interest of complete honesty - I completely forgot to do this last night but I put my thankful journal right by my bed so no forgetting tonight!!!); and seeing various attributes in my husband to thank God for (yesterday was honorable which is a piece of cake since my hubby is, by definition, honorable!) - I realize that this will be an interesting path. That's okay though because it shows God's merciful favor toward me.
I'm excited to see the paths God leads me down in coming weeks. I don't know exactly what lies ahead, but I do no one thing - they will never be boring!
~ Blessings, Bronte
I really didn't expect any calls the first few weeks of school, but I had my bag ready and waiting to go. All I needed was for that phone to ring! So, every morning I woke up about 6 a.m. with a feeling of expectation. I waited for that first phone call with excitement and a small dose of trepidation.
I waited and I waited some more.
By November, I realized I was going to have to come up with a plan B. Within a few weeks, I had landed my current gig at the Lima News writing the religion page and student profiles every week and I also became a tutor at Sylvan.
I kept expecting my phone to ring any day with an offer to sub at one of the MANY schools I signed up for. No call ever came the entire school year.
Talking to other people, I found out this was practically unheard of, so I chalked it up to God knowing best.
This past year, I didn't even expect any calls at all. And I didn't get any.
Until today.
So, I have my first subbing job one and half years AFTER I signed up for my sub license. Not only do I have my first subbing job at a different school, but tomorrow I sub at TCS. So, two subbing jobs in the same week. Who would have guessed??
God provides, but He often does it in ways I just don't expect. Today, as I was meditating on God's lovingkindness (part of my challenge from my previous post), I came across a verse that said that the paths God leads us on are His lovingkindness. That just really hit me because often I don't like a particular path for whatever reason, but it says He leads on these paths and THAT is HIM showing His lovingkindness to me.
As I try to stay accountable in the three challenges I have set for myself - not moving my "whining" bracelet (which I haven't had to move today at all - mostly because I've been sitting here by myself), meditating in the morning on God's lovingkindness and His faithfulness at night (in the interest of complete honesty - I completely forgot to do this last night but I put my thankful journal right by my bed so no forgetting tonight!!!); and seeing various attributes in my husband to thank God for (yesterday was honorable which is a piece of cake since my hubby is, by definition, honorable!) - I realize that this will be an interesting path. That's okay though because it shows God's merciful favor toward me.
I'm excited to see the paths God leads me down in coming weeks. I don't know exactly what lies ahead, but I do no one thing - they will never be boring!
~ Blessings, Bronte
Monday, February 13, 2012
THANKFULNESS & BLESSINGS
As I mentioned in a previous post, I am doing this Bible study called What's It Like Being Married to Me? One of the first things the author, Linda Dillow, talks about is whether you live with an attitude of gratitude of if whining is more your style.
I admit it - I "vent" way more often than I should. I do believe that complaining and whining can become a very bad habit, so one thing I have wanted to do this year is be intentional about being grateful. You just can't be grateful and complaining at the same time.
So, I decided to take the 21 day challenge. This is what that challenge is: you put a bracelet on your arm. Every time you complain, you move the bracelet to the other arm. The goal is to make it 21 straight days without moving the bracelet.
So far, two days in, I'm still on day one.
The thing is though, I KNOW God is very good to me. I have so many reasons to be thankful, and it's somewhat embarrassing that I ever complain at all. Ever.
Dillow shared this great verse - Psalms 92:1,2, "It is good to give thanks to the Lord and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; To declare your lovingkindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night."
What a wonderful idea - praise God for his lovingkindness in the morning and praise Him for His faithfulness every night. Can you imagine how that would change your mindset if you focused every morning and night on God's goodness to you? One of my goals this year is to live joyfully. Joy comes out of a grateful heart. It never blooms in a griping one.
God showed me some of His goodness through some very sweet and thoughtful ladies yesterday. I just started our Bible study video when I was told to shut it off. Then a silver package with a bow came sliding across the table.
I opened it and found a gift card to Ace Bookbinders. Being the dork that I am, I smiled and then asked what it was for exactly.
Wanna take a guess?
It was to have my Bible rebound. My Bible is currently being held together with duct tape, but I have so many notes written in the margins, I hated the thought of getting a new one.
The sweet ladies in my Sunday School class got together and, unbeknownst to me, gathered the funds to have my Bible completely redone.
I can't tell you what a wonderful, thoughtful gift this was - and they didn't even know it was my birthday this Saturday. Now, every time I open my Bible, I will think of their generosity.
It's not just the gift - it's the thought. There is no way I would have ever spent the money to do this myself. And it made me feel really good that they realized how important my Bible is to me. I guess that, more than anything, touched me so much. They saw me.
It made me wonder how many times I take the time to really see someone else. I will certainly be more intentional about doing so now. :)
God IS faithful. God IS full of lovingkindness. God use the ladies in my Sunday school class to reaffirm that to me this week.
Blessings, Bronte
I admit it - I "vent" way more often than I should. I do believe that complaining and whining can become a very bad habit, so one thing I have wanted to do this year is be intentional about being grateful. You just can't be grateful and complaining at the same time.
So, I decided to take the 21 day challenge. This is what that challenge is: you put a bracelet on your arm. Every time you complain, you move the bracelet to the other arm. The goal is to make it 21 straight days without moving the bracelet.
So far, two days in, I'm still on day one.
The thing is though, I KNOW God is very good to me. I have so many reasons to be thankful, and it's somewhat embarrassing that I ever complain at all. Ever.
Dillow shared this great verse - Psalms 92:1,2, "It is good to give thanks to the Lord and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; To declare your lovingkindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night."
What a wonderful idea - praise God for his lovingkindness in the morning and praise Him for His faithfulness every night. Can you imagine how that would change your mindset if you focused every morning and night on God's goodness to you? One of my goals this year is to live joyfully. Joy comes out of a grateful heart. It never blooms in a griping one.
God showed me some of His goodness through some very sweet and thoughtful ladies yesterday. I just started our Bible study video when I was told to shut it off. Then a silver package with a bow came sliding across the table.
I opened it and found a gift card to Ace Bookbinders. Being the dork that I am, I smiled and then asked what it was for exactly.
Wanna take a guess?
It was to have my Bible rebound. My Bible is currently being held together with duct tape, but I have so many notes written in the margins, I hated the thought of getting a new one.
The sweet ladies in my Sunday School class got together and, unbeknownst to me, gathered the funds to have my Bible completely redone.
I can't tell you what a wonderful, thoughtful gift this was - and they didn't even know it was my birthday this Saturday. Now, every time I open my Bible, I will think of their generosity.
It's not just the gift - it's the thought. There is no way I would have ever spent the money to do this myself. And it made me feel really good that they realized how important my Bible is to me. I guess that, more than anything, touched me so much. They saw me.
It made me wonder how many times I take the time to really see someone else. I will certainly be more intentional about doing so now. :)
God IS faithful. God IS full of lovingkindness. God use the ladies in my Sunday school class to reaffirm that to me this week.
Blessings, Bronte
Thursday, February 9, 2012
LESSONS FROM SPORTS
I mean lessons for ME! lol I am seriously not a sports person. I enjoyed playing softball and basketball when I was a kid, but in high school I was a cheerleader. As a Baptist, it was the closest thing I could get to dancing! :)
Marrying a coach and giving birth to two males pretty much sealed my fate. I was destined to spend the next 20 years sitting in bleachers and camp chairs at a variety of sidelines in all kinds of weather. Usually, after the mad rush to feed everyone and get there on time, it is fun. The parents on the sidelines are sort of a ragtag tribe as we drive all over, following our favorite players. Even if we are from different schools, you start to recognize the other teams' parents because they are always there.
It's funny because normally, I could not care less about who wins a game, but put my kid out on the court or the field and all that changes. Suddenly, I feel completely within my rights to tell the ref or umpire what he is doing wrong. My blood pressure goes up, and it usually takes my husband (who is annoyingly unflappable) of looking at me like I have lost my mind to make me sit down and be quiet.
Tonight, my oldest son Brock was in his 8th grade basketball tournament against arch rivals, the Perry Commodores. It was nip and tuck all night. We'd pull ahead four or five points and then the Commodores would hit us with a full out press, forcing turnovers or walking calls on our guys.
My son is the point guard, which means he runs the plays. He's the focus of all that lovely defensive energy from the other team as he brings the ball up the court. Tonight, I could see his nerves jangling as he worked the ball up the court. His shots were off and he turned over the ball a few times at key points in the game, but overall, he did well. He took care of the ball.
You have to know something about Brock. While I am NOT self-disciplined AT ALL. He has been disciplined since basically the womb. He was about 7 years old when he gravely informed me he needed to study on Monday for his test Friday. He patiently explained to me (his mother who was wondering why we were reviewing spelling words for a test 4 days away) that on Tuesday he had a game and on Wednesday he had AWANA and on Thursday he another game. Um, okay. I didn't realize children came pre-programmed as "very responsible." If I'd known, I'd have ordered more of them! lol
Because of his high level of self-discipline, he works at his basketball game. It's very important to him. He spends hours shooting from various points on the court and he shot hundreds, probably thousands, of free throws this summer, rain or shine. He was dedicated.
Tonight, all that practice, all that sweat, all that time, paid off for him. He had the last free throws of the game. We were ahead by one point and there was very little time left on the clock. The tension in the gym was palpable - it pulsed with expectations and hopes. I had my eyes squeezed shut, frantically fanning myself, praying for Brock to just shut out all the noise and do what he knew to do best - just shoot.
Swish went the first shot. Now we were up by two and Perry would have to hit a 3 pointer to win. Quiet fell again as the ref bounced the ball back to him. I squeezed my eyes shut again and waved my fan faster as Perry screamed "Miss it!" Swish, the second basket went in. Brock's only points tonight were 5 out of 6 free throws. He was nervous with the pressure of the tournament game, but he stepped up to that line and shot the ball. And he made his shots.
The last 9 seconds of the clock ran down as the Perry players put up two seperate shots that were short of the mark. Our fans were screaming and shouting - the bleachers were vibrating. I didn't scream or shout. Instead, I looked at my boy. He had tears in his eyes. It was that important to him, and the fact that he made those shots - well, I had tears in my eyes, too. Not because I just love basketball so much, but because it is so important to Brock. He's my boy - what's important to him, is important to me, as well.
I know it is just a game. I know that losing carries with it it's own lesson, but tonight, tonight he could celebrat a hard fought win. Tonight, he learned a different lesson: practice and hard work pay off. His head and heart were nervous, but his muscles remembered.
As I watched the pure joy on his face, I caught a glimpse of what God must feel when we hit the winning shots so to speak - when our practice of obeying and doing what is right pays off. God is rooting for us - He is in our corner. He is the God of the Universe but our concerns concern Him. I think God smiled when those two shots swished through the net. I know He smiled when Brock handed out tracts to a couple of the Perry players before the game. Muscle memory works for more than just basketball.
~ Blessings, Bronte
Marrying a coach and giving birth to two males pretty much sealed my fate. I was destined to spend the next 20 years sitting in bleachers and camp chairs at a variety of sidelines in all kinds of weather. Usually, after the mad rush to feed everyone and get there on time, it is fun. The parents on the sidelines are sort of a ragtag tribe as we drive all over, following our favorite players. Even if we are from different schools, you start to recognize the other teams' parents because they are always there.
It's funny because normally, I could not care less about who wins a game, but put my kid out on the court or the field and all that changes. Suddenly, I feel completely within my rights to tell the ref or umpire what he is doing wrong. My blood pressure goes up, and it usually takes my husband (who is annoyingly unflappable) of looking at me like I have lost my mind to make me sit down and be quiet.
Tonight, my oldest son Brock was in his 8th grade basketball tournament against arch rivals, the Perry Commodores. It was nip and tuck all night. We'd pull ahead four or five points and then the Commodores would hit us with a full out press, forcing turnovers or walking calls on our guys.
My son is the point guard, which means he runs the plays. He's the focus of all that lovely defensive energy from the other team as he brings the ball up the court. Tonight, I could see his nerves jangling as he worked the ball up the court. His shots were off and he turned over the ball a few times at key points in the game, but overall, he did well. He took care of the ball.
You have to know something about Brock. While I am NOT self-disciplined AT ALL. He has been disciplined since basically the womb. He was about 7 years old when he gravely informed me he needed to study on Monday for his test Friday. He patiently explained to me (his mother who was wondering why we were reviewing spelling words for a test 4 days away) that on Tuesday he had a game and on Wednesday he had AWANA and on Thursday he another game. Um, okay. I didn't realize children came pre-programmed as "very responsible." If I'd known, I'd have ordered more of them! lol
Because of his high level of self-discipline, he works at his basketball game. It's very important to him. He spends hours shooting from various points on the court and he shot hundreds, probably thousands, of free throws this summer, rain or shine. He was dedicated.
Tonight, all that practice, all that sweat, all that time, paid off for him. He had the last free throws of the game. We were ahead by one point and there was very little time left on the clock. The tension in the gym was palpable - it pulsed with expectations and hopes. I had my eyes squeezed shut, frantically fanning myself, praying for Brock to just shut out all the noise and do what he knew to do best - just shoot.
Swish went the first shot. Now we were up by two and Perry would have to hit a 3 pointer to win. Quiet fell again as the ref bounced the ball back to him. I squeezed my eyes shut again and waved my fan faster as Perry screamed "Miss it!" Swish, the second basket went in. Brock's only points tonight were 5 out of 6 free throws. He was nervous with the pressure of the tournament game, but he stepped up to that line and shot the ball. And he made his shots.
The last 9 seconds of the clock ran down as the Perry players put up two seperate shots that were short of the mark. Our fans were screaming and shouting - the bleachers were vibrating. I didn't scream or shout. Instead, I looked at my boy. He had tears in his eyes. It was that important to him, and the fact that he made those shots - well, I had tears in my eyes, too. Not because I just love basketball so much, but because it is so important to Brock. He's my boy - what's important to him, is important to me, as well.
I know it is just a game. I know that losing carries with it it's own lesson, but tonight, tonight he could celebrat a hard fought win. Tonight, he learned a different lesson: practice and hard work pay off. His head and heart were nervous, but his muscles remembered.
As I watched the pure joy on his face, I caught a glimpse of what God must feel when we hit the winning shots so to speak - when our practice of obeying and doing what is right pays off. God is rooting for us - He is in our corner. He is the God of the Universe but our concerns concern Him. I think God smiled when those two shots swished through the net. I know He smiled when Brock handed out tracts to a couple of the Perry players before the game. Muscle memory works for more than just basketball.
~ Blessings, Bronte
MY CONFESSION
I admit it - I have no self-discipline. I really, really don't. What I DO have are a lot of good intentions that never bloom into actions. I suppose it is part and parcel with being a dreamer - you tend to live with your head in the clouds and actually putting your feet on the path doesn't happen by chance.
However, since my New Year's theme is being intentional, that would include some self-discipline. The big one for me is getting up earlier. A few weeks ago, I was flying high over getting up early and writing for an hour. It felt GREAT!
Guess what? I haven't done that in over a week. I have good intentions, but as morning rolls around and I am lying in my snug, warm bed, I start to rationalize how I can stay there longer and still get things done. Of course, this never happens. I get up late and am immediately behind on my to-do list. I cut my exercising short and then reason with myself that I can do my writing later in the day. Does it really matter when that hour happens? The problem is that the writing hour gets shoved later and later until finally, it is bedtime and I think I'll just do better tomorrow.
But tomorrow never comes.
At the moment, I feel like I am in a holding pattern, and I really, truly believe that God is waiting (patiently, I might add) for me to start obeying Him in this area. It's like He's saying, "I really can't move you forward on this path until you actually set your feet on the road already!" Is a warm bed really more important than that?
There are other reasons I need to get up earlier which was brought home to me this morning as I was shaking the lone box of cereal left in the cupboard - keep in mind I bought FIVE boxes of cereal just four days ago. It occured to me that my kids really needed to eat something besides cereal in the mornings. I am trying to cut our grocery bill down and buying a truckload of cereal is just not going to accomplish that, kwim.
My husband is a lovely man - he is also a morning person. He gets up and feeds the boys breakfast. I am usually just getting out of bed as they leave for school with their dad in the mornings at 7 a.m.
I was thinking today that our breakfast habits need to change or rather THEIR breakfast habits needed to change. But was it really fair to ask my husband to start making eggs and French toast in the morning? The answer is no.
So, yet another reason to haul my heiny out of beds in the morning. I was whining to God about this in my quiet time yesterday. "God, You know I am not a morning person. I am just setting myself up for failure by setting this impossible goal. Surely, surely, you are not asking me to do this!"
His answer came from Beth Moore. No, I'm not pals with her and she did not email me her wisdom. I was just listening to her message on "Pressing Through Fear" last night before bedtime. She read the verse 2 Tim. 1:7 and it was like a thunder bolt: "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline."
I've heard that verse a lot, and I have even used it to combat fearfulness. When I feel baseless fears (or even fears with some basis), I know that is not from God. But I completely missed the last part of it because I was focusing on what God had NOT given me - a spirit of timidity (or to accurately translate it - a spirit of cowardice).
But listen to what He HAS given me: power, love and discipline. I decided to look those words up in the original Greek (yes, I know that makes me a geek). Power is the word dynamus from which we get our word dynamite. (I thought this particularly appropriate since it will take dynamite to get me out of bed in the mornings). Love is agape which we are all familiar with - unconditional love. And discipline or as some translations put it "sound mind" is translated as self-control or self-discipline.
In my own power, I don't ever think I'll be a morning person. With the power God gives me, I can exercise self-discipline and get myself out of bed.
Hey, with God all things are possible - even turning a night owl into an early bird.
~ Blessings, Bronte
However, since my New Year's theme is being intentional, that would include some self-discipline. The big one for me is getting up earlier. A few weeks ago, I was flying high over getting up early and writing for an hour. It felt GREAT!
Guess what? I haven't done that in over a week. I have good intentions, but as morning rolls around and I am lying in my snug, warm bed, I start to rationalize how I can stay there longer and still get things done. Of course, this never happens. I get up late and am immediately behind on my to-do list. I cut my exercising short and then reason with myself that I can do my writing later in the day. Does it really matter when that hour happens? The problem is that the writing hour gets shoved later and later until finally, it is bedtime and I think I'll just do better tomorrow.
But tomorrow never comes.
At the moment, I feel like I am in a holding pattern, and I really, truly believe that God is waiting (patiently, I might add) for me to start obeying Him in this area. It's like He's saying, "I really can't move you forward on this path until you actually set your feet on the road already!" Is a warm bed really more important than that?
There are other reasons I need to get up earlier which was brought home to me this morning as I was shaking the lone box of cereal left in the cupboard - keep in mind I bought FIVE boxes of cereal just four days ago. It occured to me that my kids really needed to eat something besides cereal in the mornings. I am trying to cut our grocery bill down and buying a truckload of cereal is just not going to accomplish that, kwim.
My husband is a lovely man - he is also a morning person. He gets up and feeds the boys breakfast. I am usually just getting out of bed as they leave for school with their dad in the mornings at 7 a.m.
I was thinking today that our breakfast habits need to change or rather THEIR breakfast habits needed to change. But was it really fair to ask my husband to start making eggs and French toast in the morning? The answer is no.
So, yet another reason to haul my heiny out of beds in the morning. I was whining to God about this in my quiet time yesterday. "God, You know I am not a morning person. I am just setting myself up for failure by setting this impossible goal. Surely, surely, you are not asking me to do this!"
His answer came from Beth Moore. No, I'm not pals with her and she did not email me her wisdom. I was just listening to her message on "Pressing Through Fear" last night before bedtime. She read the verse 2 Tim. 1:7 and it was like a thunder bolt: "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline."
I've heard that verse a lot, and I have even used it to combat fearfulness. When I feel baseless fears (or even fears with some basis), I know that is not from God. But I completely missed the last part of it because I was focusing on what God had NOT given me - a spirit of timidity (or to accurately translate it - a spirit of cowardice).
But listen to what He HAS given me: power, love and discipline. I decided to look those words up in the original Greek (yes, I know that makes me a geek). Power is the word dynamus from which we get our word dynamite. (I thought this particularly appropriate since it will take dynamite to get me out of bed in the mornings). Love is agape which we are all familiar with - unconditional love. And discipline or as some translations put it "sound mind" is translated as self-control or self-discipline.
In my own power, I don't ever think I'll be a morning person. With the power God gives me, I can exercise self-discipline and get myself out of bed.
Hey, with God all things are possible - even turning a night owl into an early bird.
~ Blessings, Bronte
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
MARRIAGE - ON PURPOSE
I just started a new Bible study. It's called What's It Like Being Married to Me? All I can say is so far, it has stomped all over my toes!
The first chapter was about my priorities - what is important to me? When I look around, I can honestly say my relationship with God is the most important thing to me. If I don't spend time with God daily I am a complete mess. It isn't that I'm "oh so spiritual." It's that I am a feeble human being who desperately NEEDS God's strength and grace to get through each day. Good thing for me, God is gracious and compassionate and abounding in lovingkindness, and His schedule is always open! I suppose that is one of the great things about being omnipresent- you're never booked up. :)
But her question of whether my husband was a top priority brought me up short. Was he? I mean, I wanted him to be. I've always been aware of the trap of being so invested in your kids that you let your marriage go so that when the kids finally go away to college, you and your hubby look at each other with that feeling that you've seen each other somewhere before but....
The truth is the combination of my crazy work hours and my husband being gone from home a lot has made my dear man sometimes drop off my radar for days and even weeks at a time. It's not that I don't see or talk to him, but he's not on my priority list. I'm tired or busy or absent, and so I don't really see him. It's like he's another piece of furniture in the room - furniture that talks, but still.
The other thing that hit me square between the eyes was the author's admonition to have a purpose statement for my marriage - not what I wanted from my husband, but the type of wife I wanted to be. I mean, I have thought about this over the years, but I had never put down anything concrete.
You can use a verse, an acronym, a poem or whatever you want to come up with your own statement. Being an English nerd, I used the acronym STAND. I wanted to take a STAND as a godly wife.
Here's my statement - I'm sure I'll hone it as time goes on:
S - soft and safe
T - true, truthful and tender
A - admiring, adventuresome and attitude (as in a good one!)
N - nice, not-nagging
D - dependable and desirable
I'll explain my words for clarity. For the letter S, I want to have a soft heart toward my husband. It is easy to let little hurts build up a crust on your heart. I have to be intentional in not letting that happen, since I think it is just a natural thing for humans to do. I want to be a safe person for my husband. I want him to feel he can tell me anything, and I won't start screeching at him or hold it against him or tell the whole world.
For the letter T, I want to always be true to my hubby in word, thought and of course, deed! I want to be truthful - always speaking the truth in love and I want to be tender toward him. It is so easy to be tender toward our children, but we can get sort of crotchety toward our husbands.
For the letter A, I want to be admiring. For men, respect and admiration are important things. I want my husband to know I greatly admire him - because I really do! I want to be adventuresome. As the mom, sometimes I am the wet blanket - reminding everyone of safety issues or lapsed bedtimes or the million and one things that could go wrong. Finally, I want to have a good, positive attitude. Have you ever met someone whose attitude goes before them like those cartoon storm clouds? Yeah - not so much fun!
For N, I want to be nice to my husband. Sometimes, the people we are nice to aren't even in our family! I also don't want to be a nag. What is that verse about it being better to be in a drippy corner of an attic than live with a nagging woman? That is just not a very flattering picture and I certainly don't want to drive my husband away from me!
For D, I want to be dependable. I want to be someone he can lean on and count on, no matter what is going on around us. I want him to know I have his back, even if nobody else does - that I am always looking out for HIS best interests. For desirable, I want to take care of myself. Yes, the fact is I am going to get older, saggier and wrinklier, but that doesn't mean I have to dress like a slob and not take care of myself, either. Most men I know, my husband included, are not looking for a model as a wife, but they probably do wish you'd wear a little makeup, brush your hair and wear something besides sweats once in a while. I want my husband to know he's worth the effort and time it takes for me to look nice. (it seems to take longer and longer every year!)
So, there you have it - my marriage statement. I will be praying that God changes me to reflect this statement, and that I will be a blessing to my husband and not driving him to seek out the leaking attic corner!
Blessings, Bronte
The first chapter was about my priorities - what is important to me? When I look around, I can honestly say my relationship with God is the most important thing to me. If I don't spend time with God daily I am a complete mess. It isn't that I'm "oh so spiritual." It's that I am a feeble human being who desperately NEEDS God's strength and grace to get through each day. Good thing for me, God is gracious and compassionate and abounding in lovingkindness, and His schedule is always open! I suppose that is one of the great things about being omnipresent- you're never booked up. :)
But her question of whether my husband was a top priority brought me up short. Was he? I mean, I wanted him to be. I've always been aware of the trap of being so invested in your kids that you let your marriage go so that when the kids finally go away to college, you and your hubby look at each other with that feeling that you've seen each other somewhere before but....
The truth is the combination of my crazy work hours and my husband being gone from home a lot has made my dear man sometimes drop off my radar for days and even weeks at a time. It's not that I don't see or talk to him, but he's not on my priority list. I'm tired or busy or absent, and so I don't really see him. It's like he's another piece of furniture in the room - furniture that talks, but still.
The other thing that hit me square between the eyes was the author's admonition to have a purpose statement for my marriage - not what I wanted from my husband, but the type of wife I wanted to be. I mean, I have thought about this over the years, but I had never put down anything concrete.
You can use a verse, an acronym, a poem or whatever you want to come up with your own statement. Being an English nerd, I used the acronym STAND. I wanted to take a STAND as a godly wife.
Here's my statement - I'm sure I'll hone it as time goes on:
S - soft and safe
T - true, truthful and tender
A - admiring, adventuresome and attitude (as in a good one!)
N - nice, not-nagging
D - dependable and desirable
I'll explain my words for clarity. For the letter S, I want to have a soft heart toward my husband. It is easy to let little hurts build up a crust on your heart. I have to be intentional in not letting that happen, since I think it is just a natural thing for humans to do. I want to be a safe person for my husband. I want him to feel he can tell me anything, and I won't start screeching at him or hold it against him or tell the whole world.
For the letter T, I want to always be true to my hubby in word, thought and of course, deed! I want to be truthful - always speaking the truth in love and I want to be tender toward him. It is so easy to be tender toward our children, but we can get sort of crotchety toward our husbands.
For the letter A, I want to be admiring. For men, respect and admiration are important things. I want my husband to know I greatly admire him - because I really do! I want to be adventuresome. As the mom, sometimes I am the wet blanket - reminding everyone of safety issues or lapsed bedtimes or the million and one things that could go wrong. Finally, I want to have a good, positive attitude. Have you ever met someone whose attitude goes before them like those cartoon storm clouds? Yeah - not so much fun!
For N, I want to be nice to my husband. Sometimes, the people we are nice to aren't even in our family! I also don't want to be a nag. What is that verse about it being better to be in a drippy corner of an attic than live with a nagging woman? That is just not a very flattering picture and I certainly don't want to drive my husband away from me!
For D, I want to be dependable. I want to be someone he can lean on and count on, no matter what is going on around us. I want him to know I have his back, even if nobody else does - that I am always looking out for HIS best interests. For desirable, I want to take care of myself. Yes, the fact is I am going to get older, saggier and wrinklier, but that doesn't mean I have to dress like a slob and not take care of myself, either. Most men I know, my husband included, are not looking for a model as a wife, but they probably do wish you'd wear a little makeup, brush your hair and wear something besides sweats once in a while. I want my husband to know he's worth the effort and time it takes for me to look nice. (it seems to take longer and longer every year!)
So, there you have it - my marriage statement. I will be praying that God changes me to reflect this statement, and that I will be a blessing to my husband and not driving him to seek out the leaking attic corner!
Blessings, Bronte
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
SMALL MIRACLES
That seems like an oxymoron doesn't it? By definition, is any miracle small? What I mean, though, are daily miracles that we take for granted or don't even see because we are too busy living our lives.
This year, I want to live intentionally, fearlessly and joyfully. One way to be both more intentional and to be joyful is to be thankful. It's easy to get into a habit of being negative or even just neutral - we aren't complaining but we aren't being actively thankful either. To be completely honest, I tend to waver between the two.
But in the midst of less than stellar circumstances, I am still called to be thankful. In the midst of good circumstances, I am called to be thankful. Sometimes, it is when things are going well that is the easiest to just not give thanks at all. I'm not sure why that is exactly.
As I look around at my life, I see a lot to BE thankful for these days. One thing that God brought to my attention is my computer. My computer is old - ancient in computer years. It is almost 11 years old. (don't faint) The CD player no longer works. I can't download pictures or much of anything without it crashing. There has been more than one morning, with a deadline looming, that I have vacillated between anger and tears, as I prayed fervently that my computer would just work long enough to get my article edited and sent off.
Now, that may not seem like much to be thankful for, but the truth is, at the present time we do not have the funds to get a new computer. And this computer, according to everybody who knows anything about computers, should have been dead a year a go. It was doing that go to an all blue screen with white letters - the kiss of death in the computer world - but here it is, a year later, still chugging away.
That is a small miracle. It reminds me of the Israelites. Did you know that they wore the same sandals for the entire 40 years? God gave those sandals supernatural durability. They never wore out. I think of my computer as a modern day equivalent to those sandals. It may not be the newest or sleekest. It may not have all the latest bells or whistles, but it gets me where I need to go.
Sometimes, thankfulness is not about the big things that come with fireworks, but it is about looking around at our every day lives and really seeing with what God has blessed us. Many days, my work schedule doesn't feel like something to be thankful for - looming deadlines, dumb mistakes on my part, bratty kids, evening hours - but I look at the things I am good at, that I enjoy. They are teaching and writing, and guess what? I'm doing those things. Yes, I wish I did not have to work evenings and I wish that I got a day off once in a while, but I'm doing what I'm gifted to do. How many people can say that?
"Bless the Lord, Oh my soul; bless the Lord and forget not all of His benefits." Psalms 103:1
~ Blessings, Bronte
This year, I want to live intentionally, fearlessly and joyfully. One way to be both more intentional and to be joyful is to be thankful. It's easy to get into a habit of being negative or even just neutral - we aren't complaining but we aren't being actively thankful either. To be completely honest, I tend to waver between the two.
But in the midst of less than stellar circumstances, I am still called to be thankful. In the midst of good circumstances, I am called to be thankful. Sometimes, it is when things are going well that is the easiest to just not give thanks at all. I'm not sure why that is exactly.
As I look around at my life, I see a lot to BE thankful for these days. One thing that God brought to my attention is my computer. My computer is old - ancient in computer years. It is almost 11 years old. (don't faint) The CD player no longer works. I can't download pictures or much of anything without it crashing. There has been more than one morning, with a deadline looming, that I have vacillated between anger and tears, as I prayed fervently that my computer would just work long enough to get my article edited and sent off.
Now, that may not seem like much to be thankful for, but the truth is, at the present time we do not have the funds to get a new computer. And this computer, according to everybody who knows anything about computers, should have been dead a year a go. It was doing that go to an all blue screen with white letters - the kiss of death in the computer world - but here it is, a year later, still chugging away.
That is a small miracle. It reminds me of the Israelites. Did you know that they wore the same sandals for the entire 40 years? God gave those sandals supernatural durability. They never wore out. I think of my computer as a modern day equivalent to those sandals. It may not be the newest or sleekest. It may not have all the latest bells or whistles, but it gets me where I need to go.
Sometimes, thankfulness is not about the big things that come with fireworks, but it is about looking around at our every day lives and really seeing with what God has blessed us. Many days, my work schedule doesn't feel like something to be thankful for - looming deadlines, dumb mistakes on my part, bratty kids, evening hours - but I look at the things I am good at, that I enjoy. They are teaching and writing, and guess what? I'm doing those things. Yes, I wish I did not have to work evenings and I wish that I got a day off once in a while, but I'm doing what I'm gifted to do. How many people can say that?
"Bless the Lord, Oh my soul; bless the Lord and forget not all of His benefits." Psalms 103:1
~ Blessings, Bronte
Saturday, February 4, 2012
FEELINGS... NOTHING MORE THAN FEELINGS
Have you ever been listening to someone and had a light bulb moment? I had one the other day. I've been letting it roll around in my head to really let it soak in.
I was listening to Mark Driscoll talk about the prosperity gospel and how off base it is. I couldn't agree more - nowhere in MY Bible does it say the Christian life promises wealth, health and no troubles. In fact, the original 12 disciples' lives pretty much shoots that theory to pieces!
What caught my attention though was when Pastor Driscoll said that Jesus had anxiety. I thought, "No way! Jesus could NOT have been anxious." But He did sweat drops of blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. The thing was, whatever He was feeling at that moment did not keep Him from obedience to His Father.
As most of you know who read my blog, I tend to be a worrier and a fretter. It's a habit I'm trying to break. The irony, of course, is that my life verses are Phil 4:6, 7. You know, the verses that say, "Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God and the peace which passes all understanding will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
I guess I kind of thought that meant, if I was really in tune with God, I'd never feel anxious. Which, now that I think about it, is kind of silly. That's like saying just because the Bible says to "be angry and sin not," means that you won't ever be angry.
Feelings are real. They are a gift from God. I mean, the gift of fear let's us know that walking down that dark alley alone in the bad part of town might not be the best idea.
However, it's when I let those feelings rule me that I get into trouble. And yes, I realize that the closer I get to God, the more my mind is transformed to the mind of Christ, and the result of that is my feelings will align more and more with Him. I don't know about you, but I'm not quite there yet, and I was feeling very guilty that I still had anxious moments. I worried about being worried, if you can believe that! lol I worried about what worry said about my faith.
Feelings are real, but they aren't always true. I can't trust them exclusively to help me make decisions and see things clearly.
However, when I feel anxious or worried, I have a choice - just like I have a choice when I get angry. I can choose to take every anxiety and worry to Christ. God promises us peace if we do that.
In Phil. 4:8 it says what I should dwell on instead of the things I'm anxious about or my worries. "Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
Anxiety and worry only win when I choose to dwell on them, to allow them to grow in my mind until they are huge. When I choose to take my thoughts captive and to dwell on the true and lovely and pure, it puts it all into perspective.
~ Blessings, Bronte
I was listening to Mark Driscoll talk about the prosperity gospel and how off base it is. I couldn't agree more - nowhere in MY Bible does it say the Christian life promises wealth, health and no troubles. In fact, the original 12 disciples' lives pretty much shoots that theory to pieces!
What caught my attention though was when Pastor Driscoll said that Jesus had anxiety. I thought, "No way! Jesus could NOT have been anxious." But He did sweat drops of blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. The thing was, whatever He was feeling at that moment did not keep Him from obedience to His Father.
As most of you know who read my blog, I tend to be a worrier and a fretter. It's a habit I'm trying to break. The irony, of course, is that my life verses are Phil 4:6, 7. You know, the verses that say, "Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God and the peace which passes all understanding will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
I guess I kind of thought that meant, if I was really in tune with God, I'd never feel anxious. Which, now that I think about it, is kind of silly. That's like saying just because the Bible says to "be angry and sin not," means that you won't ever be angry.
Feelings are real. They are a gift from God. I mean, the gift of fear let's us know that walking down that dark alley alone in the bad part of town might not be the best idea.
However, it's when I let those feelings rule me that I get into trouble. And yes, I realize that the closer I get to God, the more my mind is transformed to the mind of Christ, and the result of that is my feelings will align more and more with Him. I don't know about you, but I'm not quite there yet, and I was feeling very guilty that I still had anxious moments. I worried about being worried, if you can believe that! lol I worried about what worry said about my faith.
Feelings are real, but they aren't always true. I can't trust them exclusively to help me make decisions and see things clearly.
However, when I feel anxious or worried, I have a choice - just like I have a choice when I get angry. I can choose to take every anxiety and worry to Christ. God promises us peace if we do that.
In Phil. 4:8 it says what I should dwell on instead of the things I'm anxious about or my worries. "Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
Anxiety and worry only win when I choose to dwell on them, to allow them to grow in my mind until they are huge. When I choose to take my thoughts captive and to dwell on the true and lovely and pure, it puts it all into perspective.
~ Blessings, Bronte
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