Have you ever sought answers, but the more questions you asked, the more questions you had? That happened to me yesterday.
My youngest son, Brody, and I went to the allergist. The goal was to find out if we had food allergies since we both suffer from chronic stomach issues. Because we both have some seasonal allergies, I thought since we were there, we may as well have those done as well.
Well, 165 pokes and 2 hours later (did I mention I absolutely HATE needles???), I had an answer that begged more questions. Brody, apparently, is allergic to every plant that grows here in Northwest Ohio. I am allergic to fair number of them as well. Suddenly, instead of having an answer to a problem, I had another problem to deal with.
I would like to say that I dealt with this news in a serene, calm way, but unfortunately, I didn't. I am rather prone to overreacting. I also suffer from a guilt complex because I often feel as if all my health issues (which aren't really major, just chronic and joy-sucking at times) are a burden on our finances. It's not like my husband makes me feel that way, but what can I say? I am prone to feeling guilty. It's my nature.
So this morning I felt discouraged. Last week wasn't exactly stellar and now here we were with another health problem that was going to cost money. Again. Sigh. I started praying because honestly, who wants to be a whiney, complainer? I don't - although I'm guilty of that way more often than I want to admit! I told God how discouraged I felt and I really needed some kind of encouragement. I NEEDED Him to show up during my quiet time. I NEEDED a personal word from Him to help me to meet my circumstances with joy.
Now I realize that finding out you have severe seasonal allergies is not on par with truly horrendous news like cancer or a loved one dying. I realize that overall, I am truly blessed. But like pebbles piling up in a sack, my little things were weighing me down. I needed to know that God saw and understood and had a plan for me. I am a wimp by nature - what can I say?
Well, God made me laugh and cry this morning. I was doing my Jennifer Rothschild study, Fingerprints of God, and came across this verse. "Therefore do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying yet our inward man is being renewed day by day. For momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory for beyond comparison." 2 Cor. 4:16,17
The NEXT verse I had to look up was, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves." 2 Cor. 4:7
I started crying because I was overwhelmed by God's goodness in meeting me right where I am at! Then I started laughing through my tears because how like God to use two verses that were SO OBVIOUS! The thing is I was so completely humbled and awed and grateful that God cares about my life and all the details of that life. It was just what I needed to BE encouraged and not weighed down.
The last verses in the study for today were sort of like that theme song in Rocky - I felt like I could FIGHT. I no longer felt like curling up in a ball and having a pity party. I no longer wanted to be a shrinking violet but a valiant warrior - a good soldier in my light affliction. I hope these verses sound as a fight song for you too!
"But my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back My soul will have no pleasure in him. But we are not of thsoe who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul." Heb. 10:38, 39
~ Blessings, Bronte