Thursday, November 11, 2010


Ever have a day when you just feel happy? Where all is right with your world, the sun is shining and all you see is the beauty of life? I'm having one of those days. It comes on the heels of a difficult week.

The issue of a job was looming over me - I was feeling panicky and not sure what to do exactly. None of my efforts were paying off and I was wondering what my next steps should be. When I feel anxiety at all, I tend to be very indecisive, too, so that wasn't helping

Then my doctor called to tell me my iron was once again low. This was disappointing because it hadn't even been six months since my last EIGHT infusions. The nurse informed me that the doctor wanted me to have four iron infusions and then come in once a month to keep everything where it should be. While I was and am immensely grateful that there is such an easy fix to this problem, to be tied to going in once a month for iv treatments of any kind, sort of made me feel like some kind of "sick" person. Of course, when you sit down between two people fighting cancer, any inklings of a pity party go right out the window.

Then Thursday evening, I got a call for an interview. The job was as a home companion to the elderly. I love elderly people so I was excited. The interview was set up for the next day. After a quick interview, I found myself whisked into an orientation. The man who interviewed me asked me to stand in front of a blank wall while he pointed a camer about 10 inches from my face and told me to smile. I'm sure that picture looked lovely. I got home and just felt confused and out of sorts. I wasn't excited at all about the job - I think I was still in shock.

Monday, I was scheduled to train with someone at an actual person's house. I went with some trepidation but found the woman to be very sweet. We chatted for over 30 minutes when I should have been training with the other caregiver. The thing was, I just was not at peace about this job. I felt rushed into it and the more I talked to the other caregiver, the more I realized that this might not be a job I was actually capable of doing. My husband wasn't feeling too enthusiastic about the job either.

I got home with that sense of unease heightened, so I called my husband who said it was fine if I wanted to quit which I promptly did. My foray into the working world lasted about three hours.

Wednesday, I went to breakfast with this really great lady who I've known for a long time. She was just so encouraging and kind. I left our breakfast with a spring in my step. I wasn't home an hour when the local newspaper called me to give me three articles to do. No, they don't pay very much, but I was excited to have the opportunity.

I spent this morning, making calls and following up leads. It felt wonderful - like I was back on familiar turf. I've had a really great day. Nothing has really changed - well, besides a few articles coming my way. But I feel so at peace today.

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