FEAR

Ask anyone who deals with dogs on a regular basis and they will tell you the worst kind of aggression to deal with is fear aggression. A fearful dog has two choices - it can run away or it can attack. Many fearful dogs do choose to try to get away, but if they feel they can't - WATCH OUT! Of course, many dogs that are fearful prescribe to the theory that a good offense is better than defense. And the biggest problem is trying to figure out what will set a fearful dog off. Things that most dogs don't blink at can make a fearful dog react. Their perspective is off.

Kipper and I experienced this today. We were doing our short morning walk, minding our own business when we saw this woman on the porch squeaking a toy and calling loudly for "Lucky." Then another woman joined her - not nearly as pleasant sounding - yelling in a gutteral voice, "Lucky, come here!" If I was Lucky I might not have come either!

Then Lucky came into view. He was about 8 inches tall and probably weighed about 7 lbs soaking wet. He was a cute little thing - tan and white, but the ferocious scowl on his face ruined his good looks. He came running up to Kipper, barking, showing his tiny teeth, with all the hair raised on his back, doing his best to show how tough he was. Kipper just looked at him, wagging his tail slow and easy. Kipper would have been happy to make friends and play with Lucky.

But apparently, Lucky didn't know this. He kept charging at Kipper but when we moved forward, Lucky backed up. I kept going, in the hopes of sort of herding little Lucky back to his hapless owners - who this whole time had not moved but just kept yelling. (since that seemed to be working so well). When we got to these ladies' driveway, Lucky started getting more aggressive. The whole time the woman kept saying, "He won't hurt you or your dog," Lucky aggressively dove toward Kipper's face, snapping and growling. My sweet dog, who fortunately is NOT dog aggressive, tried very hard not to look intimidating - giving all the doggy signals of "I'm harmless." It didnt' work. Finally, after a particularly vicious snap came within a millimeter of Kip's nose, he growled and barked at Lucky. The women gasped. I'm sure she thought this was the end of Lucky's luck!

I decided to keep walking. If they couldn't come over and pick up their dog while I had him corraled on their driveway for at least several minutes, I wasn't going to stand there any longer and let little Lucky bite my dog. I got a branch and waved Lucky away. I had no doubt that if I put my hand close enough to his mouth, he'd bite me. Then Kipper would feel honor bound to protect me and we'd have a real mess on our hands (literally).

So, off we went. Lucky continued to follow us, barking and snapping and growling. I kept waving him off with my branch. He'd run away and then charge back. His owners kept uselessly yelling at him. I could still hear them as I rounded the bend and Lucky finally gave up. Lucky truly was lucky in this case. Kipper is very good with other dogs and is not aggressive, even when provoked. If this had been another big dog, Lucky might lost his head, quite literally.

Little Lucky did what a lot of people do - lash out because of fear when there really is nothing to fear at all. Fear that someone won't like you may cause all kinds of ugly behavior.

I once heard Beth Moore describe fear as False Evidence Appearing Real. People come after others aggressively, sometime even leaving marks emotionally and mentally because they are fearful and react. I wonder how many times when someone has been ugly to me, it is really fear driving their actions? I wonder how many times I've been ugly to others because of fear? If we look in the Bible, we can see numerous examples of people's really poor decisions coming from fear - Abraham, Jacob and Jeroboam come to mind.

I suppose this is why the command "fear not" is mentioned more than any other. You may wonder how in the world can overcome fear or stop reacting to it. The answer is you probably can't on your own. But in Psalms 34:4 it says, "I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears." In our own strength, we can't conquer fear. Heck, sometimes we can't even identify our fears. But God can. He can show us what our fears are and deliver us from them.

I know I don't want to be a Lucky - spending my life on the offensive, snapping and growling at phantom fears that don't really exist. It's comforting to know that I don't have to!
~ Blessings, Bronte

LESSONS FROM THE KINGS- PART II

I thought since there are actually two books of Kings, it deserved two different posts. Sometimes, when I read the Bible, I wonder why God put in all the stories He did. They certainly don't make us look too good sometimes. I mean, David killing Goliath is very cool, but the thing with Bathsheba - not so much. I guess it is one way to teach a lesson though. Think of that story about the boy who cried wolf? Parents are still sharing that one today, several hundred years after it was first told around a campfire.

There were several more things I noticed as I read through these books. One of those was that it seems much easier to pass on a bad legacy than a good one. Have you ever noticed how people tend to remember the negative much more than the positive. In training my dog Kipper, my mentor told me that for every negative correction you make, you have to do at least 5 to 7 positive ones so it doesn't cause problems like head shyness. While I realize that kids and dogs are NOT the same, the idea in parenting is similar. It never fails that your child will remember that one time you yelled at him instead of the umpteen times you told him he did a good job. It doesn't seem fair does it? I guess my take from all this is to leave a good and godly legacy for our children, it takes purposefulness and effort. It doesn't just happen.

The next thing I noticed was that many of the idols that the Israelites worshipped were much harder task masters than God was. There were at least 16 different gods that the Israelites worshipped during this time. These gods inspired fear and obviously, did not meet any of their requests. Molech (the god of the Moabites) required human sacrifice and not just one king sacrificed his child in the fire for this God. It's interesting that what God set up, these gods made counterfeits. The sacrifices that saved the people when given to God, destroyed their children for false gods. The priests who were set up to serve God in His temple were taken care of. The priests of the false gods were exploited many times as prostitutes. The list goes on and on. Idols may seem like the answer but they just make things worse.

The other thing I noticed is how many times God used an evil man to accomplish His purposes. Of course, the evil man had no idea he was doing God's will, but God did.

Another thing I noticed was God's mercy. Over and over again, the people sinned but God forgave them. He even offered pardon to Ahab, the notoriously evil king, if he would repent. He also rewarded the faithful. He told Josiah that he wouldn't live to see Judah punished. He told Jehu that one of his kin would sit on the throne for four generations because of his faithfulness. He gave king Hezekiah fifteen more years. Over and over again, we see that He was a rewarder of those that followed Him.

The last thing I'm going to mention (although there is so much more in these books and maybe I'll post tomorrow about Elijah/Elisha) is that even the kings that did what was right, it was noted about many of them that they were not wholly devoted to God or that they left the high places instead of destroying them. It hit me that many times I am devoted but not wholly. There are "high places" I want to keep or am too lazy to destroy. God takes note of that though. Ouch!

It's amazing to me that stories that are over a thousand years old still hold lessons for us today. I guess that's why God's Word is still the best seller today!

~ Blessings, Bronte

LESSONS FROM THE KINGS

Okay, I just got done reading through I & II Kings. They told the story of the kingdom passing from David to Solomon and of Solomon's reign. Then the books get into the many kings of Israel and Judah. My Bible has this chart in the back that I got a kick out of filling out - in fact I was almost late to work a few times because I was looking up what needed to go in the blanks. Whoops!

This record of all the kings that reigned over Israel and Judah explains that after Solomon died, the kingdom was split in two. Rehoboam was the king of Judah (which consisted of the tribes of Judah and Benjiman), and Jeroboam became the king of Israel (the rest of the tribes). In all, Israel had 18 kings and all of them were bad to the bone. Judah had 20 kings (well, actually 19 and 1 queen) and 10 of them were good. As I read through the stories of these ancient kings, some lessons seemed to leap out at me.

Rehoboam was the king who didn't listen to the wise elders but to his young friends. They gave him some bad advice and subsequently, he lost part of the kingdom. A few things stuck out to me on this one. The first one seems fairly obvious - be careful who you listen to. The second one is a bit deeper. In Rehoboam's day, older people were highly revered for their wisdom and experience so it was fairly unusual for him to take his young friends' advice over the elders. However, in our time, that's not really the case. There is sort of a prevailing belief that anyone older than 50 must not know what they are talking about. I think this is not only dumb but arrogant. I mean, if someone has lived twice as long as I have, wouldn't they have a bit more wisdom than I do, particularly if they are walking with God all that time? In Timothy it commands the OLDER women to teach the YOUNGER women. I think we've fallen down in this area in the body of Christ. I don't think we can blame the older women entirely either - most of them don't think the younger set wants to listen to anything they say.

The other thing that struck me in this story was not quite as obvious. The question that popped into my head was - do I give good counsel to others? Sure, I love to give my opinion and share what I think someone should do. But what if that person listens to me and does what I suggest? Is my counsel Biblical? Is it wise? Is it centered in Christ? It was definitely food for thought.

In the story of Jeroboam, God told Jeroboam that he would become the king of Israel. It was a done deal. However, once he became king, Jeroboam was assailed by fears and doubts. He didn't want to let the people go up to Jeruselum to make sacrifices for fear that their allegiance would return to Rehoboam. So instead, he made two golden calfs and set them up in two parts of his kingdom and had the people worship those.

Fear and insecurity were the root of Jeroboam causing the whole kingdom to sin. One thing that God had absolutely NO to was idol worship and here was the king instructing the people do just that. How many times does fear and insecurity lead me to make a bad decision or even to sin? With all my struggles with different fears, this was one lesson that whapped me upside the head - fear is not of God. Yes, He gives us warnings and cautions. I do believe that, but if I am experiencing paralyzing fear then I know that is not from God. Thank goodness, He is willing to help me through my fears so I don't have to stay stuck in them.

"I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears." Psalms 34:4

~ Blessings, Bronte

I DON'T FEEL LIKE BEING THE BIGGER PERSON

It's been a while since I've been on here, but it's been quite an interesting time in my life. I have been shaken in all the areas that are vulnerable - finances, job security, betrayal, my health, my family's health, feeling overwhelmed by busyness - you name it, it seems to have hit me in the last six weeks. Thankfully, many of the areas of testing had happy endings. My Dad didn't have cancer (hallelujah!!!!). I didn't have a blood clot (can I get another amen!). But other things, usually minor annoyances, seem to loom larger than normal because of the added stress in my life at the moment. It seems my tipping point is lower than it was before.

During all of this, I kept thinking, "I need to be strong. I need to be godly in my response to this. I need to be serene in the midst of these storms - it's what a spiritually mature person would do." God has given me peace and comfort, and I have wrestled with the demons of resentment, bitterness and even hatred during this time. I felt like I had come out on the other side somewhat victorious. God had given me victory to forgive and feel compassion toward the person I wanted to hate. However, anytime I felt weak or sad or upset, I also experienced guilt and the question - shouldn't I be a stronger Christian than this? Shouldn't my joy be above circumstances? Shouldn't I have a deeper trust in God and His plans that I can't know and understand right now? Shouldn't I be past this by now?

A few days ago, I was sitting in my oldest son's. My heart was pounding uncomfortably in my chest, skipping beats. I felt lightheaded. Every article I've ever read about a woman in her 30's dropping dead from heart failure flashed through my mind. The anxiety about that caused my heart to bump up another notch. My chest hurt. All I could think was, "Please don't let me pass out at my son's award ceremony and ruin his moment." I tried deep breaths. I tried to think of peaceful rivers. It didn't work. My breath seemed to come with effort. The more I tried to reason with myself that I was fine and it was just stress, the worse I felt.

I did make it home and I didn't keel over (of course, you probably know that since I'm typing this now - three days later). But I went into my room to change. I went in my closet and started cried. I sobbed until I was exhausted. When I came out, my eyes suspiciously blotchy (yes, honey, those darn allergies make my eyes itch too!), I felt much better. I was wrung out and had that headachy feel behind my eyes I get if I cry a lot. But I felt much better.

Immediately the guilt started - if you were a strong Christian, you wouldn't need to cry - you'd find joy in your situation and help someone else in the bargain. It's insiduous, this need to react perfectly as a Christian. The thing is - I'm not perfect. Far from it, in fact. I have these messy things called emotions. Sometimes, it hurts to feel them and experience them. But often the only way over them is to go right through them. God did say when we go through the fire or the floods, He is there. Feelings, while they aren't always true, are still real. It's okay to feel really angry with someone, to acknowledge they hurt you and what they did was wrong. It's not being somehow unChristian to admit that things make you upset.

I had fallen in this trap of thinking the perfect Christian response was to have perfect, all-positive feelings. Life doesn't work that way. God expects us to be human and to have human feelings. God doesn't expect us to be strong and perfect. In fact, Paul says that in our weakness God is made strong. Paul said he gloried in his weakness because it showed off God's strength through him. What a load off my shoulders to really know that I don't have to be strong. God will be strong for me and shoulder my load.

Isaiah 40:28-31, "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength, they will mount up with wings like eagles, they wil run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."

~ Blessings, Bronte

AND I THOUGHT NOTHING COULD SURPRISE ME!

You know, you'd think a girl could at least count on her dog, but this weekend, my dog Kipper surprised me. A lot! He had been acting rather strange all Friday evening. Bridges of Madison County was on tv (do you remember that movie from the 90's with Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood?). I was trying to watch it but ever few minutes, Kipper would get up and look at me, whine and pace. This is very unlike my dog. Normally, he comes and lays by me in the evenings. I scritch him periodically behind the ears and he is peaceful. Finally, I let him out in the yard. It was beautiful weather so I thought an hour out there for him and I could watch the rest of my movie in peace. To be honest, and this is rather embarrassing, I sort of forgot about him out there and got ready for bed. I realized I needed to let him in. He came rather reluctantly which was also unusual. Usually he'd rather be inside with us than outside by himself. It was now after midnight.

About 2 a.m. I hear insistent whining so I let him outside, thinking Kip needed a potty break. I sat down in the chair and promptly fell back to sleep. I didn't wake back up until about 4:30 a.m. I flew outside, feeling guilty for leaving the poor dog outside half the night. Instead of laying by the back door, he was in the corner of the yard. I called him to me and he ignored me. I called him again, more sternly. He started walking, very slowly back to me, glancing over his shoulder to that corner. I put him in his crate and went back to bed. At 6 a.m. he started whining again so I just let him out of his crate, thinking maybe he was too warm or something. Besides, I didn't care; I wanted to go back to sleep already. By 7:30 a.m. the whining and pacing had increased to the point that my husband got up and let him outside.

About an hour later, my husband came and sat on the edge of the bed with a strange look on his face. "Honey, I just took a big rabbit away from Kipper." I sat straight up in bed and screeched, "He killed it?" Turns out, my dog who is the most laid back, non-predatory dog you could possibly imagine, had not only killed but mangled an adult rabbit. No wonder he was antsy all night long. When my husband had taken it away, Kipper had it propped between his paws, licking away, blood on his muzzle and white paws. Later, I had to wash away blood from under his chin.

I know it sounds silly, but I felt sort of stunned by this turn of events. I had always seen my dog as a certain way, and I felt a bit betrayed that he was so different. I couldn't look at him in the same way after he had killed something and apparently enjoyed it. Despite good intentions, I had humanized my dog way more than I had thought. But the truth was, Kipper was just being a dog. Dog's have predator instincts. Granted, I thought Kipper's were pretty dormant, but he was still a dog. And dog's sometimes kill small, fuzzy animals.

I guess it is the same way with people too. We see someone in a certain way and then they do something that shakes that picture we have of them and we feel betrayed. The thing is though, people are human. And humans makes mistakes, make poor choices and sin. God knew that. He knows we are dust and that we are going to mess up. Nothing we do every comes as a surprise to Him. Consequently, when someone shakes your image of them, you can rest in the knowledge that even if it came as a surprise to you, it didn't to God.

~ Blessings, Bronte

LOSING HOPE

Have you ever been in a situation, been faithful and been trusting God, but so much time passes that you just sort of lose hope, lose focus and sort of wander off? Currently, I am reading through the Bible - yes, it is taking me a while since I keep stopping to do Bible studies at our church - but I just finished up I Samuel which focuses quite a bit on the story of David before he became king. In fact, the book ends with Saul's death.

Well, toward the end of the book, in I Sam. 27:1, I read this verse, "Then David said to himself, "now I will perish one day by the hand of Saul. There is nothing better for me than to escape into the land of the Philistines. Saul then will despair of searching for me anymore in all the territory of Israel, and I will escape from his hand."

David sounds pretty down. Interestingly, if you go back a chapter you see that David once again had the opportunity to kill Saul but chose not to. He chose to leave it up to God to remove the man He had placed in charge. Once again, you see Saul call David "my son" and say how David is a much better man and would end up being the king.

Yet, David had heard it all before. He had heard Saul say how sorry he was; he had heard Saul say that David really was the right person for the job; he had heard Saul call him blessed and his son and that he would no longer try to hurt David anymore. In the past, despite Saul's words, his behavior didn't change. It wasn't long before Saul's jealous rage overroad his moments of lucid sanity. David had lost hope that anything would be different. Saul was in the prime of life and could be expected to live a long time yet. David did not see any light at the end of the long tunnel he had entered, starting when Samuel had annointed him to be the next king.

David thought there was nothing better for him to do than to go to the land of the Philistines - the arch enemy of Israel. They were the very peoples whose champion David killed. It was this victory that made his name known throughout Israel, that brought him into Saul's sites. Yet, David felt there was nothing better for him to do than to go among his enemies. He went in and King Achish gave him Ziklag and David went in and wiped out all the inhabitants, including the women and children. In past chapters, you see David asking God what he should do next. That isn't mentioned once in this following chapter. David was operating on his own - out of fear and desperation and probably exhaustion. You can only run so long, I guess.

Which brings me to the question - who or what is the Saul in your life? Is there a person who keeps apologizing and saying they will change but never do? Is there a person or situation that you have been praying about for a long time and feel God has given you a yes, yet nothing seems to change or get better? Do you ever feel that continuing to be faithful is yielding nothing and you may as well quit trying because there really isn't anything better than this? You wonder if things might be better if you just switched sides.

It's interesting to me that David is the one that penned the words in Psalms 27:13, "I would have despaired unless I saw the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Obviously, David got his hope back. He came out of the land of the Philistines and ruled Israel for many years. In fact, it is only a few chapters later that we see Saul has been killed in battle, opening the way for David to ascend the throne. God did fulfill His promise to David, even when it seemed all hope was lost and things would never be different.

So, whatever you are going through, whatever you are waiting on - keep hoping. God always comes through.

"How blessed is the man who finds help in the God of Jacob; whose hope is in the Lord his God." Psalms 146:5

~ Blessings, Bronte

HE'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Passion of the Christ is a wonderful movie; it shows in graphic detail what Christ endured for us. Now I have a confession to make - I've never watched it. When it came out, I encouraged people to go see it, even people who normally don't go to movies. My parents, who are not moviegoers, went. People brought tween kids to see it. I couldn't do it. I have a really hard time dealing with difficult movies like these. After watching The Titanic, I dreamed about it for four nights before finally dreaming a happy ending. Yes, I know - somewhat pathetic isn't it?

Each year at Easter time, I sort of cringe. You see, I have this very active imagination, and when I really start to think and meditate on what Christ went through, it hurts me. It hurts me in a way that is hard to explain, but usually, it makes me weep. Somehow at Easter, the focus is often on the cross. I realize that the the cross is really important. After all, that is where the sacrifice happened; that is where Christ laid down His life for us. Without the cross, there is no salvation.

When I was praying about this, I was telling God even though I am in awe of Christ's sacrifice for me and how important I know it is, I was having such a hard time REALLY thinking about it because His death was so ugly and horrific. I felt that small still voice say in my spirit, "Forgiveness is always messy and sometimes ugly." Isn't that the truth? I mean, if you look back at everyone's favorite book of the Bible, Leviticus (what? you don't enjoy reading it?), you'll see that the sacrifices in the Old Testament were very messy and there was A LOT of blood involved. I had always sort of pictured them as clean and sterile, like an opertating room, but that wasn't the case. The blood was everywhere - on the alter, on the priests, often on the person bringing the sacrifice. It was messy and it was ugly but it was also necessary.

God also reminded me that that isn't the end of the story. We miss the best part if we leave Christ ON the cross. We miss the best part if we focus ONLY on His death and what He went through. The truth is, He rose and He is ALIVE! Oh grave where is your victory? Death where is your sting? Christ not only died for us, but He rose for us. He was victorious FOR US! Does that give you goosebumps too?

A little over three years ago, my Grandmother died. Her last day was not a good one and her death was not easy or pretty. I can still hear the sounds of her labored breathing, see her gaping mouth and sunken cheeks, looking so completely different I did not recognize her when I arrived at the nursing home, walking right by her room. That picture, that memory could haunt me and hurt me still if I didn't know the rest of the story. You see, my Granny loved God. She had Christ in her heart, so her death wasn't the end of the story either. Those few hours where she passed from life to death were just that - a few hours. For three years now, she has been in heaven, drinking in the glory of God the Father; seeing Christ face to face; knowing joy that we can only see a shadow of here on earth. Because of Christ's death AND resurrection, death may be ugly and it may be hard, but it is only temporary. It isn't the end of the story. It's the prologue to the best part of the story - heaven.

He's alive and because of that, we can all know the best truly is yet to come!
~ Blessings, Bronte